Irina K. (Krasnodar) I quickly got married for great love, I have been married for 5 years, I have a child, but there is no happiness, and my love disappeared during the first year. What to do? Divorce? What if you’re unlucky again? The song contains the following lines: “We choose, we are chosen...” and someone is lucky, has a happy marriage, but someone doesn’t get the lucky ticket. That’s why many turn to specialists for an answer to the pressing question of what to do, how to proceed, how to choose the right person with whom you can live your whole life together, because they already have experience in making decisions and making choices using examples of getting a job, their own business, recruitment, etc. The realization comes that choosing a partner must be approached seriously and thoughtfully. Therefore, the issue of choice is a very troublesome task and is often difficult. Although it’s interesting that people think about love much more simply. If you liked a person, fell in love with him, you always want to be near him, he gets bored, he’s drawn to you and that’s it - the choice is made based on our emotions and feelings. And this is precisely the big mistake of thinking this way. This erroneous belief sets up future disappointment from the very beginning. Succumbing to emotions, burning with passion, fueled by a reciprocal feeling, they decide that this is fate, fate has been brought together for a happy and long life. That is, someone or something created this situation, but the person has nothing to do with it, it is not he who makes a conscious decision to live his life with this person. There is music, flowers, a motorcade of cars, a white dress, a wedding, because this is LOVE , everything is like in a dream. And then not very much time passes, and the sleepy veil falls from the eyes and that’s all... resentment towards fate, towards life, towards God. How did this happen? Why do things happen to me that life punishes me so much for? Disappointment, broken hopes and destroyed faith in people. But in fact, the truth is that whether or not to take this “gift of fate” was only your conscious decision. But I really don’t want to admit it, because admitting it means taking full responsibility on yourself, and this is very difficult, difficult and I really don’t want to. Such resistance is turned on, and tons of arguments are given that this is not so, but this does not change the essence. Of course, it also happens that there is no choice, or the choice is very small, then a person chooses from bad and very bad, but he still chooses, either be alone, or at least with someone. The main thing is not to confuse. For example, excessive demands. They are waiting for a rich, handsome prince, but he is still not there, he will wait and wait and marry a neighbor. He is certainly not a prince, but he earns money and is a good man. In this example, the girl began to consider real candidates, abandoning inflated demands. And this marriage can be very good and harmonious if the neighbor is a worthy person. And so, she would have waited for her prince for a long time until she came to a “broken trough.” It’s a different matter if she unconsciously made this decision about marriage and left under the influence of a feeling of loneliness, whoever, just not to be alone, ended up with a drunkard, a lazy person or an infantile mama’s boy. But getting married and living life are two different things, because this person will be nearby and will be connected by a common bed, household, children, etc. I think that you already understand that when getting married, it is you who make the decision, i.e. . make your choice. How does this affect family life? After all, even in this case, the family may not succeed. When you begin to realize that the choice depends entirely on you, this also determines the amount of responsibility that you are ready to take upon yourself. And RESPONSIBILITY is one of the most important qualities that influence the quality of a created family. When you consciously make a decision and take responsibility for your choice, you take responsibility for your partner, for his conscious decision to create a life for two and lead him into this world children, raise them and send them out into life. What is happening to families now is a lack of responsibility, not attention, not love, not anything else. Consequence of shortage