From the author. Let the brilliant narcissists forgive me, but with this publication I will reveal the secrets of their skillful “love magic”. It’s such a pity for the countless army of unfortunate and exhausted victims! I’m saving the world, by virtue of my profession) Instead of an epigraph. Suddenly some old man, Spider, dragged Our Fly into a corner - He wants to kill the poor thing, Destroy the buzzing fly! / Korney Chukovsky / The topic of relationships with narcissists in the psychological practice of appeals is numerous, extremely widespread. Victims of narcissists, despite for many years of abuse, manipulation and gaslighting, they cannot forget their beloved tormentors for years. A break with an insidious enslaver turns into a school of self-flagellation, grief and suffering for the rejected partner: abandoned victims, without stinting, count their own mistakes, accumulate unbearable, destructive guilt and suffer, suffer , and suffer... Well, what else? After all, it was not just anyone, but “Tsar Harold” who personally showed the greatest mercy, allowed him access to his person, lifted him up, did him good, and what was the answer to him? They didn’t please, they didn’t cope… “It’s all because of me!” – the poor victim sobs – “I’m the only one to blame for everything! Now, if it were all over again”... And for some (over time), with the grace of the “great Benefactor”, a new chance opens up... And what would you think? Is it different this time? Of course not! What has changed here? The picture is the same! The narcissist remained a narcissist, the victim remained a victim, the scenario was repeated and often with the worst execution... Let's analyze the phenomenon... The first secret. Cover and contents. Absolutely all victims of the designated relationships rely on the especially exquisite, magical, romantic flair of the first stage of relationships with narcissists. The trick is that this dizzyingly passionate dance is mistaken for love. Behind the beautiful guise of an insidious seducer lies a completely different filling - a cold-blooded tyrant, torturer and “bloodsucker”: and the charm of his victim soon invariably gives way to bitter crying... She (as if) was promised ONE thing, but something completely different was revealed... The secret is that the crazy romance of the first stage of the relationship with daffodils - just a bait, a beautiful foil, a tempting and deceptive candy wrapper, behind which is hidden a bitter pill, and not chocolate at all. The narcissist, like a spider (from the above quatrain), through the temptation of love, places a web on the victim. And at the right moment - “bang” and “sealed” the unfortunate woman into a cleverly placed trap. "All! Gotcha! Now you can’t go anywhere!” The narcissist's snare is a trap for “big love.” The narcissist himself is a skilled hunter of the scarce love field. (Sad? Well, sorry, as it is...) The second secret. The secret of a love spell. How does a narcissist manage to hunt captives so successfully (if he really does catch them, you won’t go anywhere)... Let’s return to the analogy with the spider - there are many unexpectedly consonant clues... Let’s remember biology: what happens after the capture of the unfortunate captive ? The spider injects a special poison into the victim, thereby dissolving its physical boundaries, and then the rest of the captive’s contents. The same thing happens in the “narcissist-victim” relationship. A dizzying love “potion” completely “dissolves” boundaries and the “spider” freely penetrates into the spiritual space of beautiful captives, “sucking” onto the unfortunate - that’s all: from now on and forever the captive is his energetic “feeder”, a dependent appendage, no longer a person... ( It’s even sadder, right? You can’t be offended by the truth! It’s not to blame for the meanings we reveal!) So, the secret of the “love spell” of the narcissist-tempter is in the dissolution of mental boundaries and the subsequent (prudent and sober) introduction into the energy field of the unfortunate woman. Here the narcissus can be compared with another dubious (from a humane point of view) insect: the narcissist is an energy drone - a gentleman who feeds at someone else's energy expense... That's how he works! The third secret. The narcissist's tools. Idealization and devaluation. Let’s move on to the interaction algorithm “narcissist – victim”. How does a narcissist manipulate?…******************************