From the author: The article was published on my blog “Mistakes in thinking or conversations for awareness” From the series “The tendency to take everything personally” This is one of the main mistakes that prevent us from being happy . And this thinking error greatly affects self-esteem. We will consider three aspects of this tendency: Personal responsibility for everything that happens Suspiciousness, suspicion Tendency to transfer everything onto oneself. HOW TO DETERMINE THE LIMITS OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. Have you ever wondered where the limits of your personal responsibility lie? Is your boss’s bad mood your personal responsibility? What about the poor performance of vehicles? Does your family member have the flu? Is your child late for school? So, where are the limits of our influence? If you do something against your will, it means it benefits someone. And to answer the question about the limits of our influence, let’s first figure it out - who benefits and why does it benefit you to take personal responsibility for EVERYTHING? The first to whom this benefits most are those who do not want to take responsibility for their lives, who enjoy remaining an eternal child, crying, complaining, suffering. It is much easier and simpler to blame others for your mood, for your illnesses, for your mistakes without feeling guilty. And how nice it is that there is an extreme one who takes on this responsibility! You, who take responsibility for everything that happens to people, are simply a gift for them! Have you ever wondered whether they will respect you for this? Is it possible that they not only do not respect you, but also allow themselves to raise their voice at you and neglect you? You are so convenient for those who shift responsibility for their lives onto you! But who creates such consumers? Your personal responsibility is not other people's troubles. Your responsibility is that you indulge in lack of independence, and sometimes simply do not allow them to finally become adults. Are you reproaching yourself because it was your fault that your child was late for school? Isn’t this the purposeful education of a person who will then blame others for everything? Maybe it’s easier now to raise an independent child who is responsible for his actions and mistakes? Maybe the solution would be to teach the child to get up on the alarm clock, to stop controlling him - did he get up or not? Your task here is not to shift responsibility, but to help find a solution where the child can take responsibility himself. And the main thing is not to judge him or yourself if he suddenly overslept. Let this be a lesson to him that this is his area of ​​responsibility. Who else benefits when you take responsibility for what happens? Our state, or rather the people who are in power. It is beneficial for any government to have a citizen incapable of thinking under its command. “Soldiers” who constantly feel guilty are easier to manage. He threw out a slogan, assured that this is patriotic and politically intelligent, and if something is done wrong, then you are to blame for it, and the responsibility for this is yours, not the officials, they care about you, and you... And also this is beneficial to everyone who shouts to you: “should!”, in the family, in society, at work through status. Because it’s easier to demand from others than to do or organize something yourself! And the action again comes through the feeling of guilt. It's your responsibility, so it's your fault. And yet, where are the limits of our personal responsibility? Think about the word “PERSONAL”. What are you PERSONALLY responsible for? Yes, for what you PERSONALLY DO, SEE, HEAR and FEEL. They gave their word and did not keep it - personal responsibility. Thought badly about someone - personal responsibility for your thoughts. Share negativity with others, retell rumors - your personal responsibility for the negative mood of others, since you create it with your stories. But at the same time, others are also personally responsible for maintaining a negative state and passing it on to others. You cannot be responsible for others, but you are responsible for your thoughts and your perceptions. You do not