●The first thing you need to do is admit to yourself: “Yes, now I am offended.” Not “I was offended,” but rather “I was offended.” Let's be honest with ourselves! How to react to certain events and circumstances depends on us. And if we felt offended, it means that at the moment we chose to be offended. ●The second thing to do is ask yourself: “What caused this reaction in me?! Words, actions of another person? Or unmet expectations?!●The third question you need to answer honestly: “Are my expectations for this person realistic? Is he able to satisfy my desires and needs? Is it typical for him to act as I expect from him? Does he even know my wants, needs, and expectations?”●If your expectations are realistic, the next step is to openly express your feelings. There is no need to shout, accuse, make complaints... This is a masculine form of response. We are women, and therefore we should be able to show even aggression gently. How? For the offense to “disappear”, it is enough to simply say: “I am offended by you,” and explain what exactly (the word, deed or lack thereof). If you understand that your expectations are unrealistic, adjust them so as not to create unpleasant situations for yourself.●If you do not have the opportunity to openly express your feelings and emotions to the “offender” (you no longer communicate with the person, there is an old resentment, you are afraid or confident, that they will not understand you), write him/her a letter in which you first fully express all your complaints (not necessarily in a cultural form), and then thank you for the useful experience that you learned from this situation. What experience? Perhaps this situation showed you the true face of a person and you were able to get rid of the unjustified expectations that weighed on you. Or perhaps the person showed you by his actions that you absolutely do not think about yourself and now you can correct this situation. Or maybe thanks to the “resentment” you will now learn to defend yourself or speak openly about your feelings, desires and needs. Think! After you throw out all the negativity on paper, you will quite easily find the positive sides of this situation. And of course, it is very important to make a decision for yourself: do you want to continue burdening your life with grievances (after all, resentment harms yourself first of all , the other person does not feel your resentment) or you choose a life free from resentment. And depending on the chosen “course”, move on in life. Resentment is not an innate, but an acquired feeling. Once upon a time, you, all of us, knew how to live without offense. And now you have a chance to resurrect this useful skill in your current life. Yes, working on yourself will take some time, but the result is worth it. Believe me! Try to take a simpler approach to life, support yourself in every possible way, if you suddenly return to the “habit of being offended” for a while (and this is really a habit), continue to free yourself and your relationships from offenses, and very soon your life will take on new colors! Your relationships with other people will improve and you will feel happy! I sincerely wish this for you! Svetlana Boyarinova