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Privacy - Terms

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From the author: Sometimes behind the actual cause of a person’s suffering or his problem there may be an imperceptible factor that is harmless at first glance. What is this factor? This is the subject of this article. Sometimes, behind the actual cause of a person’s suffering or his problem, there may be an imperceptible factor that is harmless at first glance. What is this factor? This is the subject of this article. And I want to talk about this using one example from practice. This incident happened with my teacher Valery Kazak, who for many years helped people free themselves from alcohol, tobacco and drug addiction. I recorded the dialogue below from the words of V. Kazak. One day his friend, an associate professor at one of the Rostov universities, comes to him and says: “Valera, I need your help as a psychologist.” “What happened?” “I feel bad.” “What do you feel bad about, how does it manifest itself?” “Yes,” in everything. - And specifically? - In relations with the head of the department and with colleagues. At home - with my wife and daughter. My friends stopped understanding me, and I stopped understanding them. I just can’t write methodological instructions for students, and the head always demands them. All this makes me feel bad, I’m angry, irritated, life has become gray and joyless. - When did this start? - Yes, more than two years ago. - Were there any events two years ago that affected your condition for the worse? - Yes, nothing like that happened, everything is as usual, stable work, family... - What else, besides work and family, is there in your life? - Work, family. - How do you relax, how do you recuperate? - No way. In the evening I come home, while this and that, I took a shower, had dinner, watched TV and went to bed. I usually spend my weekends on the couch; of course, I have to do some things around the house. I go to my friends' garages. -And what are you doing there at the garages? -We socialize, play cards, dominoes, have a drink. -Do you drink every weekend? -Well, yes, what's wrong with that. I drink on weekdays too. - How much do you drink on weekdays? - Just a little - 150 grams of cognac. - How often? - Every day. - And on weekends? - More on weekends. - So, my dear, you have alcohol addiction. And all your troubles happen only because you drink, and until you solve the problem of your own alcoholism, you will not be able to solve all your problems at work and at home and with friends. - Thank you for such advice , and I thought you were my friend, and as a specialist you would help... Well, I went. - I see that you are offended by me, okay, let's finish our meeting. Are you sure that alcohol does not interfere with your life and does not create problems? - Yes. - But, if this is so, then what will happen if you give up alcohol? - Nothing will happen. - Are you sure of this? Maybe it will get worse for you? - Maybe it will get worse. - Therefore, does alcohol still give you something positive? - I don’t know. - Think about it. What positive benefits does alcohol give you? The assistant professor left. And he came to V. Kazak two weeks later. The following dialogue took place between them: “You asked me to find an answer to the question, what positive things does alcohol give me?” Does he give me a lot of useful things? I answer: I come home from work, tired, no appetite. I drink 150g. cognac - an appetite appears, I eat with pleasure, fatigue goes away. When I’m upset, I drink - the stress disappears as if by hand. I drink my 150g. - I fall asleep well, I don’t drink - I suffer from insomnia. 150g. I drink - sexual attraction to my wife appears, without 150g. I don’t want to have sex with her at all. Last week I came home and poured myself 150g. cognac, drank, went to sit at the table and immediately wrote a manual, as I had not previously guessed that it could be written at home, I always didn’t have enough time at work. I drink 150g, and somehow my wife and daughter talk calmly, without screams and scandals. And you tell me - what is the use of using it?! Lots of benefits! - How deeply alcohol has entered your life, that without it you cannot normally satisfy a single basic instinct, not a single need - neither eat, nor sleep, nor rest, nor relax, nor have sex, nor normally.

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