From the author: "City Bulletin" Zheleznodorozhny "Die" - "Live" My work with children has allowed me to accumulate certain experience. Each time the child opened his heart to me and shared his wisdom with me. The children I worked with taught me a lot and showed me a lot. I am writing to share my experience, in the hope that adults will find a way to support their children, and will want to change the way they think about what they say to their children. We can teach others only what we know ourselves. Likewise, parents pass on to their children what they inherit. How to live, how to relate to people and treat yourself. I will touch on one topic: “You cause only misfortune” or “Don’t live.” I often hear how parents begin to raise a child, having conversations with him on the topic: “It would be better if you were not born " They like to repeat: “When you were born, we had to give up our sports”, “I work to teach you, but you play the fool”, “No one helped us, but we had to work to feed and clothe you” or “If it weren’t for your birth, mom would have become a lawyer.” Other parents, losing patience, hurl in their hearts: “May you fail,” “May you die.” Still others are already holding their belt at the ready: “You will ever obey ? I have nothing but problems from you. I don’t need such a naughty child,” “People have children like children, what about you?” Parents are completely helpless in raising a child. They don’t know what to do in cases where a child gets a bad grade or breaks a chair to see how it was made. He's late from school. Forgets to take out the trash can. And many other things that I don’t like and seem wrong. And patience and love disappear, irritation, anger, and anger appear. Unable to cope with the current situation, they abandon the child, as if by chance: “When will all this end? I am tired of you". Offense to the whole world. And the parents put into their words: “It would be better if you weren’t here.” Unconsciously. At the moment, this is all they know and can do. They were raised that way. And, having started a family, they continue to invest a sense of guilt in the fact of the existence of the child himself in the life of the father or mother. Unfortunately, this happens often. What does a child “hear” from the closest person on earth - his mother, who says: “Get out of my sight, there are only problems with you.” The children take everything literally, and he unconsciously decides: “Mom doesn’t want to see me. It would be better if I died, my mother would have less problems.” The child does not yet know how one can die, but mother’s orders must be followed (after all, mother is big and knows how to do it right?). Therefore, for him, the way out of a difficult situation can be frequent injuries that happen to him “by accident.” Or colds, with hospitalization. One day a girl told me: “I want to die so that my mother will feel better and so that the funeral will be cheap.” The mother didn’t even know what was happening to her daughter. The girl stayed to live, lives, sometimes she slips: “Why live?” It's worth thinking about. Chronic guilt: “I’m bothering my mother, I owe her something” leads to the fact that the child cannot adapt to life normally. The feeling of being “bad” and the desire to prove to oneself that “I exist, I mean something” push the child into hooligan behavior outside the home. Although at home such children usually behave quieter than water, below the grass. How many times have we heard from our friends about their children: “Wow, such a quiet and calm child, he studied well, and suddenly...”. And the mother doesn’t know that it’s easier for her child to feel guilty for breaking glass or a broken nose than to feel a constant feeling of guilt for no reason at all. The child hears: “It’s your fault that I work from morning to night,” “Because of you, I live with your dad,” “If it weren’t for you, I would have separated long ago.” “I’m in the way” - why am I living? He thinks. And he doesn’t understand that the parents don’t know how to do otherwise. Since this order (“Don’t live”) sounds for the child throughout his life, then, as he grows up, he will find other ways of unconscious self-destruction (alcohol and drug addiction). Talking to teenagers who.