Inspired by the article of my dear St. Petersburg colleague Inna Sotnikova, I decided to pay attention to the factor that, to a certain extent, allowed my marriage to fall apart, and also occurs quite often among my divorced clients. Do you remember sharp remarks in “Irony of fate, or with light steam” or in “Office Romance”? Nadya is essentially a lonely woman, does not trust her friends... Lyudmila Prokofyevna, the head of a large organization, with approximately the same position in life, in her words, “isolating all her friends "Do you think it was an accident that these women with a completely active social mission, one a teacher, the other a director, turned out to be lonely and seemed frozen in distrust of the world? About the same thing happened to me many years ago, when the first signs of marriage destruction began to appear ... "Happiness loves silence" - says popular wisdom. And she still needs to learn to follow and even feel. An amazing, paradoxical and rather sad fact: when a family is happy, there will definitely be envious people and spiteful critics. Repeatedly in practice, questions such as “I felt unworthy of family happiness”, “I did not understand that my friends were destroying my marriage”, “I seemed to voluntarily give up my family happiness out of a sense of solidarity with my friends” were encountered... Women who broadcast such ideas ended up alone, without a husband, some without children, but initially their position in life was to create their own family happiness. Since childhood, they dreamed of a family, played with pleasure at being daughters and mothers, showed care and empathy for all living beings, were afraid of offending and harming someone... However, despite such a completely valuable (from the point of view of morality and ethics) anamnesis , family life did not work out for many of them. When a happy woman marries her beloved man, the world seems to cease to exist. The young create their own model of the micro-Universe, with its charter, rules and other features. But social life also requires comprehension and inclusion in the orbit of interaction. And these are the details that began to be visible: (I give an example from practice with the permission of the participants in my women’s training) Anastasia, 35 years old. “I have always been a home girl, although I have an amorous nature. But seeing how my mother was alone for a long time, and it was very difficult for me to get used to my stepfather, I decided for myself to marry my loved one once. And so it happened. We have been with my were inseparable as my future husband. I forgot about my friends. However, after my maternity leave, I went to work and then, as it seems to me now, real emotional abuse began. They told me to my face that everyone was jealous. In addition, I was a graduate student, and my supervisor was lonely. a young woman about forty years old. And after every meeting with her, I felt like I didn’t need a husband, and the marriage was solely for the sake of the children. At some point, I just felt guilty that I was happy in my marriage. and dozens of my colleagues and girlfriends do not have this... and so our marriage began to collapse." Irina, 41 years old. "I am very flexible and always sympathize with everyone. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to save hungry children in Africa, I collected homeless kittens. , looked after them... But I always had few girlfriends. And my relationship with my future husband began to develop without any problems. They just got to know each other, talked, and then got married. We never advertised our lives. However, after the birth of children it was very difficult. Need, always lack of money, loans. And at work, my colleagues, whom I considered friends, felt sorry for me and inspired me, although they themselves were unmarried or divorced, that the most necessary thing for me was a divorce. My husband is a very noble man, without bad habits, kind, sensitive, but completely incapable of making money. And every day, one “friend” bragged about her next rich lover, then another... I felt like a gray mouse, constantly thinking about how I should feed my family tomorrow and how to pay off the next loan. And in