From the author: Unrequited love is the most cruel thing that can happen to us. Seeing the one you love, being with this person, but not having the right to possess him... Yes, loving unrequitedly is difficult, sometimes unbearable. After all, our love is not recognized, and this is depressing. Or maybe we need it? Unrequited love... This is a cry in silence, running in the night along a deserted highway, where there is no light or a hint of the possibility of finding at least some landmarks in the world around us. Torment and doubt, desire and confusion, impossibility and madness, in a word, at this moment it seems to us that there will be no end to suffering and grief? Is this really so? Maybe there are some benefits that we take away or can learn to take out from a situation of unrequited love? The first benefit is the main one, provided that the love is mutual. Love is happiness. True love fills us and brings happiness even far from the object of passion. Love is a reverent, tender and happy feeling. It inspires, inspires, makes you do something that was previously difficult to decide on. There is no pain in love. Where pain begins, love ends, and dependence and ownership take over. Any situation always carries some “secondary benefits” - quite weighty arguments in favor of the current state of affairs, and this is where the second benefit is hidden. I emphasize that it is often hidden by us from ourselves. With unrequited love, there can be any number of benefits. For example, it is very easy to love a person who is perfect, but unrequited love is certainly a very idealizing feeling. Otherwise, you will have to see a real person, perhaps sometimes endure his bad mood, listen to his problems, turn a blind eye to his shortcomings. And allowing real intimacy with another person is generally scary. Scary to open up, scared that they will devalue you, scared, scared, scared... Everyone has their own individual and unique fear of intimacy. But unrequited love is a wonderful way to avoid it. Finally, the third benefit, which grows from the fact that in unrequited love there are always many illusions. What about without illusions? Even if you see the object of your love every day, you still attribute a lot of qualities and actions to him, based solely on your own imagination. Where do these fantasies come from? And this is the phenomenon of “projection” - I see in another what is in myself, but I do not know it. Perhaps I hesitate to consider this in myself; Perhaps I don’t believe it, but all those qualities that become most valuable in a loved one actually exist in us. And this is great, because these are good qualities, since you can love for them. If you learn to acknowledge your projections, unrequited love becomes a great opportunity to know and love yourself better. And if you are lucky enough to fall in love with someone who is unlucky enough to fall in love with you, don’t waste time - study yourself and then you will understand that you are worthy of mutual love. Love - it comes in different forms. There is a reflection on the ice. It can be a persistent pain, It can be like an apple tree in blossom. It happens like a whirlwind and a flight. It can be a chain and a prison... We give her peace, and work, And sacrifice our own lives! But there is still such love, That will come up unnoticed And, lifting, helping, Will lead you through the years And will be your soul and conscience until your last days. http://gestalt-therapy.ru/Konopy.htm