In the natural world there are many surprisingly similar animal relationships to humans. Otters can be singled out as champions in socialization and attitude towards offspring. These touching creatures from the mustelid family have a unique reproductive system, are playful and social. Despite the fact that the decisive role remains with the mother, fathers have weight, they are monogamous, caring, and raise their offspring up to two years of age. And for the natural world, this is decent by human standards. Otters form strong emotional bonds, foster cognitive development, and are completely tactile and vocal! Otter parents not only look after their offspring, but also help arrange their personal lives and help them develop territories. And this is not the most interesting thing, otters accept offspring back into the family if their “family life” is unsuccessful. Exactly like ours, only with people, of course, everything is more interesting, diverse and complex, well, that’s why we are the “crown of creation.” Parents sometimes find it very difficult to separate from their children. This process can be long, painful, or never happen. Separation of offspring, non-interference, weakening of control and pressure, should begin within the parental family gradually and progressively. According to age, personality and gender characteristics. After all, we copy established attitudes and family values ​​from our parents’ family. The trouble is when polarity develops in the triad: father-mother-child (children). When, for example: mother and child form a whole, and the father is beyond the field of not only relationships, but also rejected. Or the role of the mother is belittled, reduced to everyday functions, morally humiliated. Painful relationships in the family, the child in adulthood will transform into his personal family. The alliance may remain the same; the unseparated child will remain in the parental family into adulthood. Only now his partner will be on the periphery. Children, by the way, can very firmly integrate into the “grandparents” family. Then it is completely unclear who is raising whom. Parents of their children or grandparents, aunts and uncles (significant people for a person in the parental family). And sometimes parents become like older brothers and sisters for their children. Thus, a non-separated adult child does not build his own family, but integrates it into the family of his parents. Not necessarily directly, but these co-dependent relationships with parents often cease to suit the partners. Resentment and negativity accumulate, manipulation is felt. All this leads to unhappy family stories. And the “children” return to their parents’ home. Unfortunately, even the return of the “child” desired by the parents can be a source of stress for everyone without exception. Psychologically, a person changes throughout his life, despite stable paradigms, beliefs, personal characteristics, a person always gains life experience. It changes physiologically, hormonally; in nature, everything rarely develops along a direct vector. Psychological stagnation is a temporary thing, external stimuli will eventually “knock out” the psyche and change coping strategies. Parents have a unique opportunity to establish relationships with children that will form a positive life and family experience in them. Stereotypical thinking, toxic relationships, codependency instead of attachment can and should be replaced with emotional empathy, a sense of security, acceptance, and support. Do not turn relationships with children into specific object relationships. The need for love is as natural for a person as basic needs (sleep, food, safety, procreation). From the moment he is born, a person draws it from his family. If the need for love was satisfied in the parental family, but there was no safe and timely separation from the parents, the person, not finding love outside the family perimeter, not having the skills to build his own “nest,” will be forced to return to where there was a lot of love. Where his problems will be solved, because the habit of avoiding responsibility for his life and actions, avoiding conflicts, comfort,».