There is an exercise in training about the importance of group feedback. Three participants go out the door, where they receive a task from the presenter - to tell the fairy tale “The Pockmarked Hen”. The task of the people remaining in the room is to react to each “speech” in a certain way: to praise the first storyteller, nod, smile. The second narrator is to criticize, make a skeptical face, and make dissatisfied exclamations. And the third will face the coldness of the audience and its indifference. Which of the following do you think evokes the strongest emotions? Think about it before you read further. With approval, everything is more or less clear, although there are nuances associated with a person’s personal perception. And with the other two reactions, not everything is as simple as it may seem at first glance. What is more traumatic for a person when they argue with him, do not accept him, criticize him or simply ignore him? You can react to critical remarks, prove your opinion, demonstrate your aggression, after all. Yes, criticism is definitely not the best form of feedback, and it can hurt, but they see you, they communicate with you. Ignoring is one of the most toxic forms of emotional abuse, without noticing a person, a partner or group seems to be telling him “you are not there.” People are social creatures, they need communication, support, “their own flock.” The fear of rejection has been embedded in the human psyche for survival since the times when people lived in wild tribes - one cannot survive alone. Just imagine the impact a situation has on a small child when “they simply don’t talk to him.” In a couple, this type of violence is easy to justify, for example, by persuading yourself that “maybe I’m really boring him with my conversations” or “She’s just tired.” If you experienced this type of violence in your family when you were a child, then such communication is experienced by an adult as rejection, very painful and painful, but the behavior of the ignoring person is justified. The more important the group or person who is silent, the harder this type of violence is to endure. If you start to worry that someone may think badly of you, stop for a moment, in order to weigh, is this person’s opinion really so important to me? If you encounter a similar anti-communication mechanism often and especially when communicating with loved ones, it may be worth thinking about what it’s time for you to change in your life so that it doesn't happen again.