From the author: Family and family trap patterns. Communication styles in the family have a significant impact on the dynamics of family relationships. If we talk about family psychology, then, in the words of Eidemiller E.G., “unhappy families are unhappy in the same way, happy families are all different,” this does not correspond, of course, to Tolstoy L.N., but is closer to the truth, because dysfunctional patterns of interaction are quite rigid “connect” communications in the family, which creates the impression of their conditional, of course, sameness for various kinds of symptoms. Thus, this article is rather about dysfunctional communication or dysfunctional patterns of interaction. A person’s entire experience can be conventionally differentiated into three components: thoughts, feelings and actions (the latter can also include data received by a person from his senses). Accordingly, in family interaction, family members use their full potential. However, if we talk about dysfunction, then in the course of communication with the family, when the emotional “degree” increases, patterns begin to work, including feelings and actions, a kind of automatism. There is no doubt that the idea that these automatisms can be passed on from generation to generation and, moreover, aggravated by the severity of their consequences, is quite reasonable and is confirmed in practice. It even seems that these patterns are necessary for the family to feel like a single whole, and when the family therapist begins to reveal the context, the background of these patterns, then completely unpleasant facts, myths, feelings and thoughts are revealed that seem, without the support of a specialist, not just scary, but threatening the integrity of the family as such. I will give two examples: First. Let's touch on such a part of my practice as working with people who have attempted to commit suicide. What are the pathological patterns here? It would seem that the man himself made this decision. However, if you look more closely, you can see that often suicides and suicide attempts, as well as suicidal thoughts, are associated with someone, for example, “unhappy love” or misunderstanding of parents, and in fact, if you go into the history of such a person, then Instead of defending oneself, expressing the angry part of oneself, in the course of his or her life, he or she became offended, and, for example, went to his or her room, being in a situation of emotional rejection, or even violence. I would like to draw your attention to the word “left”, because suicide is, in my opinion, precisely a departure that is beneficial or even desired by other members of the family, and having matured, faced with a difficult and illusory hopeless situation, a person acts because he wants another who broadcasts without saying openly: leave, or even die, although rarely anyone admits it. However, to the question: who would want you to die?, you can often hear a very specific answer. Thus, the task of a consultant in this situation is to help a person get out of this trap, emotional isolation, to express his deepest feelings, thoughts and emotions, a kind of strengthening of personality differentiation, sometimes drawings can be a good help in this, I used Nikolskaya’s drawing test. Second example , about a drug addict, until a person who has used psychoactive substances has not acquired sufficient experience of sobriety and coping with difficult emotional situations, his relatives, despite statements that they want to help with all their might, themselves fall into the trap of dysfunctional interaction characteristic of the period use, as if forcing the addict to use drugs. The example is based on the well-known rescuer-victim-persecutor interaction, when the mother of an addict, continuing to play the role of a rescuer, evokes in him emotions characteristic of the period of use, for example, guilt, and a feeling of personal inferiority, without having sufficient experience of countering or a more functional way to cope, he uses a typical way for himself, breaks down into use. At71981469