"Yes, I know!" “I’m neurotic” “I’m anxious I’m a procrastinator. To all such statements from clients, I say: “Don’t swear”! Then, I can ask: “How is this? Explain what this is? I don’t understand.” The person begins to say that he is experiencing certain feelings, thinks annoying thoughts, wants to do something, but puts it off until later, gets anxious, in certain circumstances. I say: “I understand.” The person throws up his hands: “Well.” , I said that I am a neurotic! - No, the fact is that it is called differently, I say. You are a living, thinking, energetic, intelligent person, experiencing a range of feelings and desires, who is too strict with yourself, accustomed to deceive oneself, using old patterns of behavior. A person who is so alive that he is afraid of life in himself, of his feelings. A person who was once so alive, non-standard and diverse, so different from his environment, that he allowed himself to be placed. “in a cage” with the name “abnormal”, put on an ugly “carnival costume” and spend most of your energy on wearing it. Hellish work that no one needs. It’s stressful, devastates, causes anxiety - it’s alarming to “be abnormal”, but on the other hand, it’s attractive! After all, if I was not accepted into the flock of black crows, I can be white! If they don’t like me for my spontaneity, then I can suppress it and become anxious. Maybe then they will regret it and love me? If they don’t approve of my desires, it means I’m not good enough, they don’t love me. But, I can give up my desires, make it a habit, and even having spent most of my life meaninglessly waiting for changes and favorable conditions, still become someone extraordinary for myself - a great procrastinator! I describe different types, not up to the end of conscious manipulation of oneself, and naming and calling oneself names, in order to achieve greater “well-being” in one’s life. A person who has not received enough approval, love, understanding, who has survived the aggression of the environment, in some sense disappears, “freezes or dries up,” like an existential flow, striving to manifest itself in contact with external space, as if it is compressed to a point, feels rejected, is afraid of external space, other people, ceases to allow himself to experience desires and realize them, does not understand who he is. Therefore, he finds pseudo-names, roles and titles for himself, and stops “flowing”. Finds an ersatz - realization, with a smack of anxiety, pain, melancholy, loneliness, flawed exclusivity. All this is supported by invisible aggression towards oneself, hostile self-perception, penetrating from the outside, as a rejection of the immediate environment. A psychologist or psychotherapist with a meditative, non-judgmental perception recreates a new, alternative friendly atmosphere of relationships, the meditative perception of the therapist seems to penetrate into the client’s consciousness, unfreezes his existential flow, and then projected outward as a favorable, friendly environment for self-realization.