Reasons for concern for parents in September are problems of adaptation to the new realities of life, the inability of a teenager and child to stand up for themselves, and the inability to defend personal boundaries. I often hear from parents that life is very cruel, that in the struggle only those who are stronger and bolder survive, and the “weak” are doomed. Of course, life is not a Garden of Eden, but it just happens in different ways. I would like to draw the attention of parents to the following. In controversial situations (of course, this does not apply to cases of bullying or serious conflicts), when it is difficult to cope with emotions, parents need to correctly assess the situation and reactions of their own child. First of all, separate two points: the attitude of the child himself to the situation and the attitude of the parents. Ask: Is it so dramatic in the eyes of your son or daughter? Are they really being offended, humiliated, suppressed? Or is it that some old memories and grievances have stirred up within you, and you involuntarily attribute your experiences and your ideas about life to your children? Sometimes a person finds examples of unfavorable or dangerous events in his previous experience, and then transfers this experience to the future of his children. Often adults themselves make a mountain out of a mountain, and this only harms the child. Inflated hypertrophied pride prevents a person from building adequate relationships with others. This is a real epidemic of modern society: a person looks for a catch in everything, flares up at any careless word said to him, any little thing is perceived as a violation of self-esteem. This is how resentment, anger, envy, hatred, which corrode souls, are nurtured. If an adult had not been fixated on some minor injustice committed against his child, he might not have noticed anything. Well, they pushed, teased, didn’t take them into the game, into the conversation... Who doesn’t this happen to? They didn’t accept me now, but in half an hour or tomorrow they will. A minute ago you were pushed, and a minute later you rushed headlong somewhere and also accidentally pushed someone. All people are imperfect, everyone has their own characteristics. Childhood and teenage grievances are usually unstable and quickly disappear. It often happens that yesterday's enemy becomes your best friend, and vice versa. But when an adult registers an offense, it acquires a qualitatively different status and receives official recognition. Some parents not only focus on trivial insults or comments (often fair), but also label them with the word “humiliation.” Therefore, I would like to tell parents: listen to yourself: what words and images do you use? If a child is instilled with the idea that the world is cruel and that he must fight his way everywhere, then the child begins to feel like he is in the camp of the enemy. And this is to live in a state of tension, mistrust, and as a result - the development of fears, increased anxiety and their consequences in some, or aggressiveness in others, in the depths of which lies the same fear. After all, the world in their eyes is not safe... It seems that humanity is losing the foundations of wisdom, because what brings people more trouble: injustice itself or the fight against it? From time immemorial it was believed that love and wisdom are higher than injustice. Even observing nature, one can conclude that it is beautiful and... unfair (from a human point of view). Where else, if not in interaction with other people, can a teenager learn and understand the following: People can be selfish, stupid, aggressive, ill-mannered, deceitful, ungrateful, etc. (exaggerated), but - you need to accept this as the reality of this world. After all, we don’t blame the rain for throwing water on us when we forgot our umbrella. And we learn not to blame people who throw mud at us (I know, this is painful and difficult). Any weather is beautiful, people are different, although it happens that for our specific circumstances they do not suit us. That is, I.