We will talk about male infidelity, and female infidelity also occurs, but practice says that there are much fewer of them. There is an opinion that all men cheat. I consider it to be untrue. Scientists, biologists, and psychologists who adhere to this position explain this phenomenon by the fact that infidelity is part of a man’s behavior, determined by nature, for which preservation and reproduction are important. Nevertheless, man differs from animals in that he has free will, which means the ability to control his behavior. Why does betrayal occur? Let's highlight several main reasons: 1. A feeling of dissatisfaction with one's importance as a man. In this case, a man enters into an affair with a woman who gives him admiration and respect for his person. When a spouse constantly belittles the dignity of her partner, she thus pushes him into a relationship on the side: “Are you a man? Look at V. He achieved it - and you?” In some cases there is no belittlement, but there is also no respect. Therefore, the spouse finds someone with whom it is much easier to be taller. 2. The need to conform to the stereotypes of his social circle. A certain status of a man in society “dictates” to him the need to have material wealth, as well as to possess several women. Why limit yourself in something if you have the opportunity to have it all? 3. Negative emotional background and inability to manage it In some cases, a man, with the help of satisfaction from sex, seeks to overcome his boredom, anxiety, blues and other negative sensations and emotions. 4. Change partners as a habitImplies a mechanism similar to addiction (for example, from the Internet, from overeating) In such cases, the human psyche has already learned to receive pleasure in this particular way, and this method has become dominant in the realization of human needs. How to survive a partner’s betrayal? 1. Cool down first. When you're on edge, it's extremely difficult to have a substantive conversation; it's easy to get lost in endless reproaches and details. It is important to remember that cheating that happens always follows problems in your relationship or the problems of the man himself. 2. A loud scandal can only take place if you have a really strong relationship, and male cheating is a one-time occurrence. In this case, you can loudly demonstrate that you are getting a divorce, thus showing what he can lose, teaching a kind of lesson. 3. Conversation. It is important to conduct it competently. If you start with reproaches, then most likely the man will begin to defend himself or reproach you in response. It is important to understand that at the moment of betrayal, the man was most often sure that it would remain a secret. In most cases, this does not mean that the man wants to leave the family. 4. There is no need to find out the details of male infidelity: how it was, whether you liked it or not. This will not affect your relationship in any way; it will only be harder for you, adding pain and anxiety. 5. In order to come to some kind of solution to this conflict, it is important to find out the duration of the relationship on the side. 6. And then talk about the reasons for the situation: are there any problems in your relationship that caused everything to happen. 7. It is important to calmly listen to your spouse’s answers, they will give you the opportunity to understand how viable your family relationship is. Give yourself time to think about his words, several hours or days. Only after this pause can you think about the future fate of your family. And tell you what doesn’t suit you in the relationship. What to do next with the relationship, whether to save it or not, is up to you, but the betrayal that happened is a good reason to think about it and make your future life better. Sincerely, Your psychotherapist, coach, interpersonal relations specialist, Natalya Akhmedova