Probably all people have heard about such a principle as “Do no harm.” Most often it is adhered to by people in the medical professions. But the majority of people living on our planet are parents. And this applies to them too. Who else but a parent wants only goodness and happiness for their child? Who else but a parent will closely monitor those around him so that no one, God forbid, harms his child? Does the parent himself require compliance with this principle? Let's figure it out. How many of you have come across the concept of overprotection? Overprotection is excessive and comprehensive care, the desire to protect and protect your child, even if there is no trace of danger. A mother acts as a filter between the outside world and her child, filtering out everything that in her opinion, it can be traumatizing, both physically and mentally. And what is the end result? The child grows up completely unsuited to independent life. Even the simplest tasks and minor difficulties cause him to panic. Naturally, he runs to his mother for help, as a savior and helper. And finally, mommy is happy, her child is always nearby. Maybe at five years old, it looks very cute when a boy walks with his mother by the hand. But when this boy turned forty-five, and he continues to walk with his mother by the hand, now “on the carpet” to the boss, on a date, this is no longer good for anyone and this is alarming. This pattern of behavior begins to interfere with both mother and son. And then the “X-hour” comes when the mother realizes that she wants to live for herself, but that was not the case. The boy, who is already forty-five, cannot decide anything on his own; he does not have the courage to do anything. Women, as a rule, see in such a man only a child, and not a man in the true sense of the word. He is not taken seriously at work, and he can only dream of a promotion. Who should I thank? That's right, mom is a super-guardian. Often the reason for over-protection is the parent's desire to assert himself. Just think about it - self-affirmation at the expense of the child. It sounds, to put it mildly, immoral. And when a child begins a period of rapid maturation and personal growth, such a parent begins to panic, fear that the child will move away and mom or dad will no longer be needed. The consequence of overprotection is a feeling of uselessness for the parent. As soon as the child begins to succeed in something, a conflict occurs. The mother-guardian sees the danger and “beats” the child’s hands in every possible way, thereby “discouraging” the desire to achieve success and making him feel guilty for success. The favorite method to keep a precious child is manipulation. A sudden “illness” that has arisen in a parent or external unfavorable factors keep the forty-five-year-old “baby” close to his mother. In this situation, there is a threat that an adult child will develop negative feelings towards his parent. Precisely something like hostility, and not gratitude for the “heroic educational work.” Because lack of freedom is always a hindrance, it is something that any person wants to get rid of. Sooner or later. We can also talk about a situation where a parent regards his child as a tool for achieving his unfulfilled dream - promotion up the “career ladder”. For example, once my mother wanted to shine on the stage of the Bolshoi Theater. I went to ballet school, washed my feet in pointe shoes until they bled, but, alas, for some reason I never became a prima ballet dancer. Either there wasn’t enough talent, or there was an injury. Now she has a daughter, Masha, a sweet girl who loves chemistry. She has never danced in her life and does not intend to, but her mother, not paying attention to her daughter’s preferences, sends her to a ballet school. After all, all relatives and friends will eagerly listen to how the mother talks about the successes of her daughter, that she is a great mother who is raising a replacement for Anna Pavlova... And then the girl’s torment begins. Yes, she will, for example, make progress in ballet, but... who needs that? For the girl Masha, who loves chemical formulas, puzzles and experiments? Or.