From the author: The interview for the magazine was conducted by Irina Kharina Natalya, why did you choose the profession of a psychologist? Initially, I chose the profession of a dentist and even, after overcoming a lot of difficulties and difficulties, I entered the Med. Institute and studied there for 2 years. But, as I studied, solved my everyday problems, communicated with different people, I came to the conclusion that sooner or later I would be forced to change my profession. It was a strong internal feeling that my real place was somewhere in the area of ​​“soul science” practices. Faced with difficult everyday choices and having a hard time experiencing them, I vaguely imagined how psychologists help people and themselves get out of crisis situations with dignity. But I knew for sure that I wanted to provide such assistance professionally. I went through quite a severe depression and came out of it on my own, but it took me a very long time. I am sure that if I had good psychological support at that time, I would have come out faster and with fewer losses. However, I admit that these losses had their own value. What is the essence of the method you practice? How to practically apply it? It is difficult to answer such questions schematically. If someone wants to understand it seriously, they will need to read a lot more. The task of psychological assistance, psychotherapy, including family psychotherapist, is to make a person stronger and more resilient in the face of difficult life circumstances. In form, psychotherapy is most often a conversation. Sometimes the therapist may use certain exercises and therapeutic procedures, the purpose of which is to enhance the client's process of self-understanding and change his style of communication with other people. And the method of systemic-family constellations is one of those methods. What does this method of arrangement give people? What can they get? There are three things here: First: sometimes it hurts so much that it is impossible to live. People sometimes come on the verge of suicide. Young, beautiful. That is, people come to be saved. Second: even if there is no such severe pain, people still strive for a normal life. That is, to have a family, a profession, children, grandchildren. When something doesn't work out, you can come up with a lot of different excuses. For example, tell yourself: “I am completely special, and everything will be different for me.” But in fact, human normality is something I really value. Third: arrangements greatly change the picture of the world. They teach simple and clear wisdom: how the world really works, and what is valuable in it, and what is important, and how to live this very normal life. The absence of family, children and social fulfillment is a clear signal that somewhere a person is caught in some kind of pincers. He can compensate for it, hide it, force it out in any way he wants, but this is an immutable fact. The natural flow of life is this: as people grow older, they pass on life. This is a natural flow. And everything that falls out of it had a serious reason for falling out. And it had a chance to be healed in a timely manner. Systemic family constellations according to Bert Hellinger are an effective method of working with a person as part of a whole system: family, clan, work team. We are all constantly and continuously included in certain systems (father, daughter, great-grandson, boss, etc.) and corresponding relationships. Such a relationship can support, inspire strength, confidence, give meaning, or maybe vice versa... and there is no escape from it, it will haunt us always and everywhere, making us unhappy. The reason for this is a disrupted systemic order. You can deal with these by doing a family constellation. The arrangement allows you to make visible and visual the image of the situation that is in the human soul. It allows you to discover hidden influences and connections, restore balance, reward all members excluded from the system, return the adopted feelings of others, etc. With the help of constellations, you can solve problems: loneliness, addiction, unresolved feelings of resentment, guilt; psychological trauma andaccidents; the impact of generic tragic events on the lives of subsequent generations; conflicts in family relationships; illnesses and problematic behavior of children; and others at the request of participants. In the process of working on individual requests, images of solutions are created that release internal forces from the participants in the constellation, which are a powerful resource for the desired changes. As a systemic-family psychologist, I don’t really like making diagnoses. Because a diagnosis is always a focus on a problem, and I like to deal with solving these problems. There is even a second name for family therapy - “short-term solution-oriented therapy.” This is probably the essence of systemic family constellations. The method of systemic family constellations according to B. Hellinger, unlike other methods of the systemic family approach, does not require the presence of all family members. One family member who is most committed to serious internal work is enough. When the most highly motivated member of the family changes, the entire family, or more broadly speaking, the systemic context of that person changes. In the arrangement, the main role is played not by the arranger, but by the client himself. He has two psychological “tools” with which he triggers positive changes in his family system. These “tools” are: ACCEPTANCE and RESPONSIBILITY. The arranger only helps the client to use them correctly. But here the most important thing begins - many people do not have enough mental strength (or do not have the habit in life) to use them. For example, the client says that he is never ready to accept his father, who, for example, beat his mother. (In the language of the constellation, this means: “I do not accept half of myself,” that is, I doom it to illness and mental discomfort). By the way, accepting does not mean justifying! Or a woman says that she is not ready to take responsibility for unborn children, saying that the man is to blame, etc. (In the language of constellation, this means: “I exclude them from my system,” and then other children unconsciously take their place in life). So, a successful arrangement is, first of all, a lot of mental work from the client himself. And an experienced arranger only helps the client follow this path. For me, this is the main difference between constellations and magical rituals. Name a striking example of helping people from your practice. I had a lot of different cases. And so it’s hard for me to single out something, something that really captured my imagination. In some sense, all cases deserve this special treatment. Because when you work with someone and something, this is the only, unique and most interesting thing that exists at the moment. Give an example when your personal situation was resolved positively. I think I won’t reveal a big secret if I say that all psychologists have the same problems as non-psychologists. And this in no way characterizes them as specialists. This is rather the challenge and vulnerability of our profession. It's not what happens in your life that matters, but what you do about it. I, like any living person, am not immune to difficulties in my personal life; some of them at certain moments in my life seem insoluble to me without the intervention of “miraculous forces.” At such moments, I try to take a time out and devote time to myself. Because, I am aware that my balanced, harmonious internal state is the main tool and the key to good work as a psychologist. I will not give any specific examples either. I will only say that I have not escaped all the average problems of relationships with parents, loved ones and children. And like all ordinary people, I found myself confused already in the midst of a problematic situation. And here I must admit that knowledge of the systemic laws operating within the family, a systematic view of the world, understanding of hidden relationships helps me a lot and does not allow me to fall into a long-term stupor. At the moment, my relationship with my husband and son is the source of my inspiration and my constant area of ​​responsibility. Natalya, whyHave you chosen the profession of a psychologist? Initially, I chose the profession of a dentist and even, after overcoming a lot of difficulties and difficulties, I entered the Med. Institute and studied there for 2 years. But, as I studied, solved my everyday problems, communicated with different people, I came to the conclusion that sooner or later I would be forced to change my profession. It was a strong internal feeling that my real place was somewhere in the area of ​​“soul science” practices. Faced with difficult everyday choices and having a hard time experiencing them, I vaguely imagined how psychologists help people and themselves get out of crisis situations with dignity. But I knew for sure that I wanted to provide such assistance professionally. I went through quite a severe depression and came out of it on my own, but it took me a very long time. I am sure that if I had good psychological support at that time, I would have come out faster and with fewer losses. However, I admit that these losses had their own value. What is the essence of the method you practice? How to practically apply it? It is difficult to answer such questions schematically. If someone wants to understand it seriously, they will need to read a lot more. The task of psychological assistance, psychotherapy, including family psychotherapist, is to make a person stronger and more resilient in the face of difficult life circumstances. In form, psychotherapy is most often a conversation. Sometimes the therapist may use certain exercises and therapeutic procedures, the purpose of which is to enhance the client's process of self-understanding and change his style of communication with other people. And the method of systemic-family constellations is one of those methods. What does this method of arrangement give people? What can they get? There are three things here: First: sometimes it hurts so much that it is impossible to live. People sometimes come on the verge of suicide. Young, beautiful. That is, people come to be saved. Second: even if there is no such severe pain, people still strive for a normal life. That is, to have a family, a profession, children, grandchildren. When something doesn't work out, you can come up with a lot of different excuses. For example, tell yourself: “I am completely special, and everything will be different for me.” But in fact, human normality is something I really value. Third: arrangements greatly change the picture of the world. They teach simple and clear wisdom: how the world really works, and what is valuable in it, and what is important, and how to live this very normal life. The absence of family, children and social fulfillment is a clear signal that somewhere a person is caught in some kind of pincers. He can compensate for it, hide it, force it out in any way he wants, but this is an immutable fact. The natural flow of life is this: as people grow older, they pass on life. This is a natural flow. And everything that falls out of it had a serious reason for falling out. And it had a chance to be healed in a timely manner. Systemic family constellations according to Bert Hellinger are an effective method of working with a person as part of a whole system: family, clan, work team. We are all constantly and continuously included in certain systems (father, daughter, great-grandson, boss, etc.) and corresponding relationships. Such a relationship can support, inspire strength, confidence, give meaning, or maybe vice versa... and there is no escape from it, it will haunt us always and everywhere, making us unhappy. The reason for this is a disrupted systemic order. You can deal with these by doing a family constellation. The arrangement allows you to make visible and visual the image of the situation that is in the human soul. It allows you to discover hidden influences and connections, restore balance, reward all members excluded from the system, return the adopted feelings of others, etc. With the help of constellations, you can solve problems: loneliness, addiction, unresolved feelings of resentment, guilt; psychological trauma and accidents; the impact of generic tragic events on the lives of subsequent generations; conflicts in family relationships; illnesses and problem behavior.