Harsh criticism can hurt even the most stable and confident person. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to criticize politely and constructively, but even this approach does not guarantee adequate perception. What can we say about rude or baseless remarks? How can you train yourself not to react too sharply and painfully? Any psychological problem has underlying causes. You should identify them and try to eliminate them. Let's talk about this in more detail. It all starts in childhood. A child, for example, does ordinary housework - washing the floor. But this is his first experience, he is just learning. The baby fiddles with a heavy rag for a long time, tries, and gets tired. And then one of the adults comes into the kitchen and begins to reproach: “Well, who washes like that? I just smeared the dirt! Let me do everything myself.” And just imagine: you are a little girl or boy. They did a lot of work that was difficult for you, and they wanted to get your parents’ approval. Perhaps you are afraid of them, because in many ways your well-being depends on adults. It is not surprising that criticism from your parents will make you very upset, and the negative experience will remain in your memory for a long time. If a toxic home environment persists, then gradually the habit of taking any comments seriously becomes entrenched. Unpleasant episodes may be associated with a kindergarten or school, where educators and teachers reacted too harshly to the child’s missteps and mistakes. And now, when a person has long entered adulthood, criticism continues to unbalance him. It is important to realize that you are no longer six or even twelve years old. You are an adult and independent person, capable of protecting yourself. But more importantly, now you can look at the situation from the outside or imagine yourself in the place of the critic. What did the adults want from you? Why were they unhappy with you and behaved aggressively? And how would you handle the same situation? When you imagine a similar situation, think about how else you might have handled criticism as a child. Play out the situation: “Mom/Dad, I’m offended that you talk to me like that, because I tried/tried very hard.” Or this: “If you scold me, I won’t want to help around the house anymore. Better show me how to do it right, teach me, and I’ll try to repeat it.” Now you need to consolidate the new reaction to criticism and try to work it out in practice in real life. Developing the right habit will take more practice and time. It is advisable to repeat a new reaction at least twenty times. Acute perception of criticism is a common problem. Don't despair, but act. Put yourself in an adult position. Work on your reactions and put them into practice, and then communication will turn into a much more enjoyable process than before. Your psychologist, Polina Checheneva