The work of a psychologist: Interesting and Useful 642 Good afternoon, Dear Friends! And you and I continue to study the work of a psychologist and its various features, we continue to share our experience accumulated during practice and ours. I bring to your attention the six hundred and forty-second article in the series !As promised, a few more words on the topic that was raised in my article yesterday. To begin with, if you haven’t read it yet, I’ll refer you to it. The summary of yesterday’s article is as follows: the client had a mother who was constantly withdrawing from communication with him. Now the client continues to try to “reach out” to her, to get her, in the literal sense of the word, at his disposal - he wants to transport her to him. There is no sign of enthusiasm on her part. As a child, he developed a pattern when it is necessary to return someone who has left. It is realized in relationships with other people too. The previous therapist refused to work with him, but he continues to be interested in his affairs, sends his friends to him for therapy. In addition to the desire to “get a mother,” the client may have other emotions that are poorly understood by him. For example, he may also be angry at his mother (and at the therapist). Let’s voice this hypothesis: “The fact that your mother didn’t want to be with you, she gave it to your grandmother, now does not show any joy from your offer to move in with you, and can also cause anger.” We help the client understand the full range of feelings. After all, this really can make you angry. Not only to be sad. But we know that the client’s mother is pulling away only from the client’s words, so in such cases we say this: “Perhaps it seemed to you that the mother wanted to pull away from you (if the client said that she did).” With emphasis on "you". After all, my mother may not have wanted it then. Who knows? Without her, we won’t know this, we can only have assumptions about her. The therapist here can say something else: “You feel that your therapist doesn’t need you (if the conversation moves from mom to therapist again), and this feeling similar to the feeling you had for your mother.” Even if the client did not make such an analogy himself, did not express such specific feelings of uselessness, we can help him discover them. This is especially true for clients who talk little about their feelings and intellectualize more. On the one hand, as I wrote, it is important to help the client discover his feelings. But for this, it is important to have extensive experience in practical work and undergo personal therapy, so as not to impose anything of your own on him, not to mislead him, but to name only those feelings that may exist in this situation. In general, we all react more or less the same emotionally to similar events. Betrayed - anger, sadness, guilt... We bought a house - joy, most likely, if it was our dream and we enthusiastically tell how we will move into it. And so on... If you name the feelings incorrectly, then someone will say that we were mistaken, and someone may believe it and this will lead the therapy in the wrong direction. Do you also want to share something? Please write below in the comments! It will be important and interesting for everyone to learn something useful for their work or just for themselves! Thank you for your attention! The next, six hundred and forty-third article in the series will be published soon, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow! Sign up for a consultation: + 7 - 9 6 5 - 3 1 7 - 5 6 - 1 2 If you liked the material, please click on “Say thanks”! In order not to miss anything interesting, subscribe to my publications! And please share, material on social networks! :)