From the author: Experience of the first year of family education for the mother of a fourth-grader How is it - WITHOUT SCHOOL? What do I want to tell you about? About our family center. About how easy it is. And that it is difficult. About the fact that a new space appears between the child and me. And that this space can quickly be occupied by despair and quarrel. I want to tell you that for me this is better than life in parallel worlds. About those for whom traditional school is not suitable. About what an individual approach to a child gives. About what kind of children we are waiting for. Show our albums on books read and Old Russian history. The history of the idea. Do you know Summerhill School? I always thought about it in relation to my child.... To my naughty, difficult, talented daughter. My non-standard child who could not study at a private Waldorf school. What was I supposed to do? I was looking for a school with an individual approach. Did not find. I read about the Summerhill school and was envious of the fact that it exists in England... And then my friend, professor, head of the master’s tutor program at Moscow State Pedagogical University T.M. Kovaleva told me about what has existed in our country for 20 years - a family form of education . It turned out, upon closer examination, that there are already quite a lot of family centers in Russia; there is a lawyer P. Parfentyev, who wrote a whole book with an attachment of electronic contracts for schools to help the creators of such centers and simply parents who transfer their children to a family form of education. that it is simple and interesting. Everything turned out to be simple - an agreement with the nearest school is the way we want it - certification at the end of the school year, so that we can go at our own speed. Organization of the learning process from the point of view of the individual characteristics of the child. A lot of free time, and most importantly, time spent with the child in one meaningful space. It suddenly appeared! Despite the fact that we always went to the theater a lot, to exhibitions, and excursions, this was “besides the school curriculum” and not so central in the child’s life. I still didn’t fully know what was going on at school today, what they were talking about... And our trips were just relaxation, albeit with the idea of ​​development. Now that most of the program is being learned in the family, we organize these excursions and trips in accordance with what we are going through. For example, a trip to Vladimir or an excursion to the Historical Museum. A common content space has appeared - we see, hear the same material, we discuss it, we are surprised that everyone has learned something different... We draw and write reviews. Together we look for information in books, encyclopedias, museums. For the first time, I got inside the process of my daughter’s education, and it was as if she saw me inside it - we can study together. For example, in literature, we read the classics together, one at a time, one page at a time. It is very interesting. This is truly a life together. In addition, it has now become very clear to me what the essence of her problems in learning is - how this attention deficit manifests itself - I see how she switches off and forgets. Reboots and continues. She gets tired and whines that she needs to rest every 20 minutes. Now everything is obvious and the time becomes so valuable when you manage to advance and consolidate the material. And not just be angry with teachers who blame you at every meeting for the fact that the child is lazy, stands on his ears, does not understand anything, disrupts boring lessons, etc. These are advantages. It's a pleasure. But there are also disadvantages. The density of communication does its job. The energy of discontent that was previously sent to the school now goes to me. In a traditional school, the parent teams up against the school and the teacher to diffuse the tension. Or against other kids in the class. Or teachers and parents against children... Now you can’t make other people guilty, everything is between us, everything is visible, everything is obvious. At some point, anxiety appears that we won’t make it in time, irritation at the fact that it’s 10 times the same thing, mutual dissatisfaction with the fact that we are dependent on each other. Quarrels. However, remembering the first three classes of school, I think that these quarrels, andthen understanding and awareness of our differences increases our closeness. I recognized my child, and she is sometimes surprised when she recognizes me. He says, “It bothers me that you don’t watch cartoons, which means you don’t understand childhood.” Or - “I thought that you were just a parent, but it turns out that you also kept a diary as a child? And I was also afraid that you wouldn’t be able to write in it?”... I don’t know about you, but for me the greatest value of motherhood is closeness with the child. The possibility of its creation, the pleasure of existing in it and, as we both grow older, the development of opportunities for the development of many feelings and thoughts... It also turned out that family education does not take more time than studying in a traditional school. Neither the child nor me. You don't have to stop working. No need to throw the mugs. On the contrary, this year we had 5–7 visits per week. She goes to half of them herself. And there, by the way, the social environment there is more satisfying to me than even in a private elite school - children who are passionate about this activity make friends and unite, focusing on its content. It seems to us that who is happy in these family center-schools (and here) Lena Zheludenko, a child psychologist, curator and supervisor of our school-family center “Here and Now”, will tell you this: There are children who find it difficult to adapt to the conditions of a comprehensive school and be successful there.1. Asthenic type This group includes children with exceptionally increased mental fatigue. However, among the “asthenic” children, not all are quiet, weakened, or tired. There are children who are quite physically developed and go in for swimming or ballroom dancing. Increased exhaustion can only be characteristic of their intellectual activity. Teachers identify asthenic children quite quickly, noticing how they “switch off” in class. Children sit with an absent gaze, look “into nowhere”, often put their heads on the desk, and may not react to a remark. They cannot work during the entire lesson; they only do something at the beginning and then can join in the work a couple more times. Quite quickly (often by the end of the second lesson) such children become completely overtired and then lie on their desks or quietly go about their business. During recess, however, they can play and be quite active (although not all of them), but intense mental activity quickly tires them and “turns them off.” Asthenic children usually know that they have poor memory and attention, and treat this calmly. Their voluntary attention is really not developed. It is unstable, concentration is weak, and there is no distribution of attention at all. They cannot do two things at the same time. For example, write and listen to the teacher’s explanation. Either they will not hear (or will not understand) what the teacher is saying, or they will not know what they will write, if they can write at all. Slow switching leads to the fact that asthenic children do not keep up with the explanation and quickly cease to understand what the teacher is saying. Often such a child “switches off” from a conversation or explanation, not yet being overtired, precisely because, not having time to follow, he loses the thread and ceases to understand the meaning of the message. The volume of short-term and operative memory in asthenic children is very small. Without support from external stimuli, the child cannot hold information in his mind and operate with it. For example, he cannot simultaneously remember instructions and act in accordance with them. He remembers the rule, the instructions, reproduces them, but when he works, he cannot be guided by them. They often look unusual, seem thoughtful, withdraw into themselves, and often give strange, non-standard answers. Parents often mistake this specificity for talent and send their children to various clubs and studios, underestimating the dangers of overwork and nervous exhaustion. Until brain activity normalizes, any stress is undesirable; constant fatigue complicates and delays the child’s development. It is important to convey to parents that additional preschool and extracurricular activities do not contribute todevelopment of the child, and, leading to overwork, delay it. Asthenic children are characterized by emotional inertia and “lethargy.” Light positive emotions have a tonic effect on them, but strong ones deplete them. The possibility of normalizing brain function, first of all, depends on the general health of the child. Often, in a latent and weakened form, individual manifestations of brain dysfunction remain for life.2. Reactive type These children look exceptionally active (they are called hyperactive), but in fact it is motor disinhibition, forced, uncontrollable reactivity, combined with increased excitability, switchability and fatigue. Their behavior is in the full sense “field”, It is directed by surrounding things, objects and people. Objects “attract” them to themselves. Children must touch everything that catches their eye, and pick up even those objects that they absolutely do not need. They cannot control their behavior. They act first and then understand what happened. The presence of teachers or parents is not a deterrent for reactive children. Even in front of adults, they behave the way other children can behave only in their absence. Often classmates amuse themselves by provoking these children into rude antics and fights in the presence of teachers, who begin to consider them hooligans. Reactive children give a sharp response to a sharp remark. Attempts to restrain a reactive child lead to the fact that he begins to act on the principle of a released spring. It is “reactive” children who cause the most trouble and trouble to teachers, parents and friends, but they themselves suffer greatly. They try, but cannot keep their promises; they make a promise and cannot keep it. Usually they do not evoke sympathy from anyone, but only irritation, condemnation and hostility. Gradually they are surrounded by a barrier of rejection. This is what gives rise to aggression. Their fate largely depends on the attitude of others, especially family members. If the family maintains understanding, patience and a warm attitude towards the child, then after the brain matures, all negative aspects of behavior disappear. Otherwise, even with treatment, the pathology of the character remains, and may even intensify. The learning ability of reactive children is objectively better than that of asthenic ones. Among them there are often original, talented children. But cases of mental development delays in reactive children are not uncommon. During the lesson, children of this type also periodically “switch off” without noticing it. They quickly get tired and cannot maintain receptivity and mental performance until the end of the school day, although they remain motorically active until late in the evening. Their memory may be normal, but due to the exceptional instability of attention, it is not known what and in what sequence settles in it. There may be occasional "holes" even in well-learned material. In a calm environment, when adults guide their activities, reactive children can learn successfully. The experience of private schools shows that in small groups of different ages, in the company of older children, they behave calmer and work better. Older children treat them more leniently, more tolerantly and at the same time communicate with them less. In a typical school classroom, reactive children quickly become overstimulated from an overabundance of interactions and impressions. Emotions can have an extremely strong influence on the activities of these children. Emotions of moderate intensity can activate it, but with a further increase in the emotional background, the activity can be completely disorganized, and everything that has just been learned can be destroyed. The emotional reactions of reactive children are violent, but usually pass quickly. 3. Rigid type: Usually children of this type are clearly visible by external behavioral signs (slowness of actions, speech, reactions. These children are characterized by high fatigue, periodic “switching off” and restoration of intellectual performance. At the same timeactive periods can remain with them almost until the end of the school day. Sometimes the behavior of rigid children does not look “inhibited,” but their intellectual activity is always characterized by slow processing and poor switching ability. Parents and teachers try to deal with the slowness of rigid children, because they see that they “They just “swing” for a long time, but then they can work quickly.” Therefore, they try to urge them on at the very beginning of work, but they only irritate them and thereby further increase the period of development. Teachers and parents tend to attribute the resulting failure to the harmfulness and stubbornness of the children. In a calm environment, these children are able to switch much faster. It is before starting an activity (and at home before starting to do homework) that rigid children spend a long time laying out and sorting out notebooks, textbooks, pencils - and there is no need to stop them from doing this. This is how they “enter” the work. If adults rush and push, and even more so start shouting, the activity of rigid children is disrupted and their learning slows down even more. If adults continue to follow their tactics, then children may fall into a stupor - become silent and do nothing. This, in turn, drives adults crazy. Rigid children answer questions with a greater delay than other children. If you rush them, they may become completely silent, even if they know the answer. In general, they get the most for their stubbornness, which may not exist. Children of this type, to a greater extent than others, exhibit interference from previous activities to subsequent ones. Unbeknownst to the child, previous activities (rules, instructions, etc.) can overlap with subsequent ones and lead to confusion. Words from the previous exercise and numbers from the previous example may “pop up” (especially if the actions are performed in the mind). Taking breaks between activities reduces the number of errors. A slower pace also improves the quality of work of rigid children. They usually write short and even simple independent works with two marks, since they do not have time to figure out what needs to be done. Long works with similar tasks (even complex ones) can be completed well. If the tasks are of different types, then the errors of rigid children (as a result of overlap) may be the most “wild”. Teachers usually do not engage in detailed analysis of their work. They believe that these children can work whenever they want, so they scold them for doing tests poorly, especially simple and short ones. The memory of children of this type is usually normal. Stability and concentration may be average. The weak point is very poor switchability, which manifests itself in the nature of systematic errors when filling out the test (the predominance of errors at the beginning and end of the line). With general neurodynamic inertia, emotional inertia does not manifest itself so significantly due to the fact that these children are generally less emotional. However, there are also impressionable, rigid children who are prone to emotional “stuckness” with deep experiences. Intellectually, these children can develop normally if parents and teachers understand the essence of the problem and create the necessary conditions for them. In this case, even without treatment, brain function in rigid children is often completely normalized by the 6th-7th grade (sometimes earlier).4. Active type They are actively involved in activities, but do not work for long, as they quickly get tired and cannot voluntarily regulate their performance. Therefore, they are often scolded for laziness, lack of will, unwillingness to work hard and complete the work they have begun. But since they depend on the rhythm of their brain, no amount of reproach or control can change anything about this. Children of this type can write short independent works very well. good, long - bad. The number of errors at the beginning and at the end of the work can vary greatly. By the end of the lesson, children may “switch off” unexpectedly, stopping mid-sentence, and, without noticing it, hand in the work unfinished. Moreover, the teacher sees thatthe child goes about his own business instead of finishing his work. Periodic rest allows these children to remain productive almost until the end of lessons. Such children are constantly raised both at school and at home. They are not seen as stupid as in rigid, or as bullies as in reactive. They are not trying to get rid of them. On the contrary, they seem capable but lazy. Therefore, adults try to help them develop the will so that they can realize their potential. To do this, they are involved in self-government training at school, in which children only become overtired. At home, fathers in their own way try to make them strong-willed, and mothers - neat and organized. They often participate in various sports sections, but this also does not change anything. It is good if everyone gives up on the children, tired of fruitless attempts to re-educate them. Then the work of the brain gradually normalizes on its own (even without treatment) around the 8th grade. If there was no initial neglect, then the development of intelligence in active children does not suffer during school years. Their memory is also normal, but the volume of operational processes (memory, attention) is still small. They are not aware of their defects, they do not feel disconnected, and this gives rise to problems. Thus, with MMD, the following deviations can be expected, compared to the age norm: 1. Rapid mental fatigue and reduced performance (while general physical fatigue may be completely absent).2. Sharply reduced possibilities of self-government and arbitrariness in any type of activity.3. Pronounced disturbances in the child’s activities (including mental ones) during emotional activation.4. Significant difficulties in the formation of voluntary attention: instability, distractibility, difficulty concentrating, poor distribution, problems with switching depending on the predominance of lability or rigidity.5. Decrease in the volume of working memory, attention, thinking (the child can retain in his mind and operate with a rather limited amount of information).6. Difficulties in the transition of information from short-term memory to long-term memory (the problem of strengthening temporary connections). The formation of types of MMD is associated with the combination and severity of the following factors: 1. Weakness of brain activity. 2. General uncontrollability, mismatch in the activity of individual substructures of the brain. 3. Imbalance of nervous processes. About how everything is organized here in the Here and Now family center. A school where there are no teachers. Only educational psychologists. A school where there are no lessons. And there are experiments, travel, research, analysis of real life, classes in museums and libraries. A school in which it is not the amount of knowledge that is important, but an interest in acquiring it. A school in which it is not assessment that is important, but development. A school in which one does not equal to one standard, but seek an individual approach to everyone. A school where every child and every adult is valued. This is a school we do together! It has long been clear to everyone that a traditional school, as a mass production factory, is based on adults’ ideas about what a child should be and how to learn. This method of teaching dates back to the times when psychology as a science was still unknown. The walls of classrooms and prison-type buildings narrow the teacher's vision and prevent him from seeing the true goals of a child's education - self-confidence throughout his adult - professional and personal - life. Learning is interesting, with joy, wanting to learn - from the point of view of a psychologist, it is possible and necessary for a happy person, but it is impossible in today's traditional school for many reasons. Fortunately, today in our country there is a legal way to avoid being in a traditional school. Although general education in Russia and it is mandatory, it is currently possible to receive it according to the Law “On Education” in different forms: “Taking into account the needs and capabilities of the individual, educational programs are mastered in the following forms: in an educational institution - in the form of full-time, part-time (evening), part-time ;in the form of family education, self-education, external studies. A combination of various forms of education is allowed” (Law of the Russian Federation “On Education”, Article 10, paragraph 1). Today there are more and more parents choosing a form of education for their children - family education. We invite such parents to unite in order to create conditions for growth and development for our children, taking into account the individual characteristics of each child. To prepare children for exams, not by forcing, but by captivating them. For this, at the Psychological Center “Here and Now” we have the initial resources - premises, good child psychologists, 11 years of experience in conducting children's psychological camps, trainings, successful experience in solving problems of school failure - individually and in a group. Started on September 1, 2012 our school. We started with a small group of children aged 8-10 years old. We are mastering the 3-4 grade program. Our development program is built in accordance with age and individual interests and characteristics, but includes 5 areas: The world around us: geography, biology, zoology, physics, chemistry. World artistic culture and history. Russian language and literature. Mathematics and economics. Foreign languages. According to the development program of our school, the basic material according to the state education program is mastered, but in a creative form and together with parents. The structure of teaching by eras can be used. Forms of mastering the material and the purposes of using such forms: Classes in museums and libraries. Goal: we encourage you to master the necessary material and stimulate interest in asking questions and finding answers to them. Neuropsychological exercises, classes for the development of the left and right hemispheres, mastering a program for speed reading, developing memory and attention. Goal: we use individual mental resources to remember rules, laws, abstract concepts. Analysis and description of events and impressions from real life while walking and traveling (in Russian and foreign languages). Goal: learning to see details, developing verbal thinking, mastering languages. Compiling and solving problems based on real information obtained in stores and banks. Goal: learning to move from the particular to the general. At school, children study 3 times a week (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday) for 3 hours. At home they do homework with their parents and independently. Part of the material on public education standards remains to be studied at home (the class teacher-psychologist gives parents a description of this part of the program and recommendations for mastering it). At the end of the week, a Large group is held - all children and adults are present (both educational psychologists and parents). The goal is to unite everyone to help everyone. Tasks are sharing impressions, summing up the week, planning upcoming events, making general decisions on the current life of the school. Payment for the school is 15,000 rubles and is paid at the beginning of each month one month in advance. Entrance fees to museums and meals are paid separately. Children will also need to have pocket money for experiments and solving problems related to trips, for example, to shops, post office, etc. Planned annual trips (we plan to travel to the cities of the Golden Ring - Suzdal, Sergiev Posad, Pereslavl Zalessky for several days) are also paid separately. The estimate for such trips is drawn up jointly by children, parents and psychologists. Individual consultations with psychologists are paid separately (at a discount from the total price of the Psychological Center “Here and Now”), the participation of children in psychological groups, trainings, camps of the Psychological Center “Here and Now” is also paid with a discount. The family center-school is organized and supported by all project participants. Therefore, everyone is valuable and everyone makes an important contribution to the life of our school. Parents can simultaneously be teachers-psychologists, administrators, accompaniments in experiments, hikes, travels, advisors and assistants in various events.