Mariia Komarova: I deliberately did not write about marital relationships, because we will talk not only about married couples who have a significant or not very long history of living together, it could be a TN cohabitation, or a civil marriage, it could just be a love relationship. So, we will talk about quarrels and conflicts that even the most flexible and calm people cannot avoid. And the closer the relationship, the smaller the distance and the greater the interdependence, the more often these same conflicts arise, which interfere with living, loving, raising children, relaxing, working. What happens? There can be many different reasons. But according to my observations, most often the problems lie in the psychological incompatibility of the partners. But this applies to normal healthy relationships. That is, if in your couple it is not customary to yell at each other, fight, insult your partner, there is no total control, you develop relationships together, build a family, have the same plans, values... And in such a couple suddenly things begin to arise between partners more and more often misunderstanding, irritation, anger, raised voices, resentment. Most often, this happens because one partner is an introvert (for example, a man), and the other is an extrovert (let it be a woman in our case). These are genetically determined personality traits that cannot be corrected; a person is born with them and lives with them all his life, and they must be taken into account. Let's figure out what is typical for each of these types. An extrovert is usually a person with a high degree of vitality, he is an optimist, usually very sociable - he is the one who connects the family (couple) with other units of society, he needs a wide circle of friends, he is able to inspire, inspire hope, go towards a goal - sometimes recklessly... An introvert has a completely different character. He is a thing in himself, usually smart, but those around him can only guess about it, does not like to demonstrate his merits and achievements, penetrates into the very essence of things and events, is capable of long-term planning, and knows how to find the best options for getting out of any situation. But he is not inclined to communicate, does not like fuss, his circle of friends is very narrow, he loves loneliness. Now let's look at WHAT gives energy, strength, recharges each of these types. An extrovert can be cheered up, brought into a state of balance with praise, a kind of " psychological stroking." He needs communication, a heart-to-heart conversation with a discussion of the problem, listening to the position of the interlocutor, his point of view - because it is by talking through the situation that he can better understand himself. An extrovert's reaction to stress is often aggression. And this also needs to be taken into account. But an introvert has completely different sources of energy. For him, “recharging” is silence, loneliness, free space (without people, at least for a short time!), he needs not to be distracted, not rushed, given the opportunity think without time limits, without being distracted or forced to switch to something else or answer questions. Under stress, an introvert usually withdraws and withdraws into himself. Now imagine a couple that coexists in the same space, unaware of the peculiarities each other. Even two wonderful loving people will not immediately figure out how to avoid quarrels, insults, misunderstandings. So, tips: If you are an extrovert, try to understand the mechanism of interaction with your loved one. Understand that in order to recover, he needs peace and quiet from time to time (therefore: do not demand, do not yell, do not criticize - even if you are dissatisfied with something!). Be patient, remember his strong traits (smart, reasonable, reliable!!!). Leave him alone - in such moments it is better to have an “alternate airfield” - go to friends, colleagues, relatives - there you will receive praise, communication, and feedback... And then come back. And it is likely that you will be able to avoid dissatisfaction with each other and mutual insults. And if you are an introvert, then be sure to read about your characteristics and strengths - this knowledge will give you 89149568386