How do we treat ourselves? Balakhonskaya G.V. Your own attitude towards yourself is very important. It is important from all sides. It is at the foundation of all areas of our lives. This is such a basis. And relationships with other people are also built on the basis of one’s own attitude towards oneself. I wrote about this in the article Attitude towards oneself in relations with others Because you are you. You carry your attitude towards yourself throughout life. And not what is declared to others, but precisely your real own attitude towards yourself. You carry it. That is, honest to yourself. This is how you truly feel about yourself. How (or what) you think you are. You express this attitude towards yourself, regardless of whether you want it or not. You express it anyway. Although, perhaps, in different ways in different situations. I wrote about this in the article Every action has consequences, and not only in this article. At the same time, understanding all of our sides occurs gradually. That is, we can begin to understand about ourselves what didn't understand before. To our surprise:) Moreover, what is surprising (and perhaps not at all surprising) is that some parts of ourselves, some of our qualities are simply unfamiliar to us. Our attitude towards ourselves is formed on the basis of some other people’s words, other people’s ideas about us . Perhaps these words were once spoken in passing. And the one who said them forgot about them. But for us it works as a kind of marker that includes one’s opinion about oneself - it is deposited somewhere with us, where we have our inner portrait. For example, an adult girl may consider herself bad a person, because her mother drank valerian in front of her (almost demonstratively) and complained to her grandmother that it was all because of her terrible daughter. The girl has this written down, so to speak, in the subcortex. A trifle? Well, it seems like a small thing. But it turns out - here is an episode, there is an episode there. Here is a word, there is a word. And a person develops an idea of ​​himself in such a collective way - from “assessments” from the people around him. Sometimes even indirect. But, figuratively speaking, they sank into the soul. Of course, these are not always such direct assessments. Often they are indirect. Well, for example, our girl accidentally heard her friend talking to another friend and asking that she had a better figure than our girl, right? Her legs are more beautiful and her figure is generally better, right? And our girl, having heard this once, already began to look meticulously at herself. And she selectively reacted to those opinions that were not in her favor - she perceived them as confirmation of her ugliness. Already treating herself as the owner of not very beautiful legs and a figure. But how many people, so many opinions! After all, for some, such legs seem to be the most beautiful! But only our girl will notice only what confirms her already absorbed negative assessment of herself. And all the rest will be ignored as not corresponding to reality. Well, just don’t notice! Well, dear friends, I, of course, simplified this to the limit - to illustrate how our attitude towards ourselves is formed. From the assessments that we receive from the outside world, starting from childhood. These are examples of how Our attitude towards ourselves can be extended to any quality. Be it appearance, be it mental abilities, or even character. Of course, in reality everything is much more complicated :) A variety of factors are intricately intertwined here. A variety of opinions. From a variety of situations. But the key, of course, is the basic attitude of the parents. Their acceptance and approval of some qualities of the child or their rejection and devaluation. It’s clear that parents are people with their own characters. And, of course, they have imperfect characters :) And not everyone knows how to give acceptance and support to their child. It's sad, of course. Well, that is what it is. And the child accepts some of his properties and characteristics as positive, and some as negative. Because he absorbed the opinions of other people. And he was completely unfamiliar with some of his own properties and abilities! And yet they exist. Understanding yourself better, or even getting to know yourself in a new way, can significantly help. +7 (916) 614-83-92