Client, let's call her Ira, 34 years old, married, has two sons, lives with her parents. She asked for help because she often experiences negative feelings towards her youngest son: anger, irritation , and even hatred. She was very worried about these feelings, and she began to feel guilty for hating her own son. She was angry about him because he was a bad student, did his homework slowly, didn’t understand a lot of things in terms of studying, that he was not obedient and very active .During the course of the work, it turned out that Ira was simply jealous of his son in that he could afford to express protest, that he could afford to satisfy his needs, that he could afford to be himself. Because all her life, and until now, Ira has been an obedient girl and a good daughter for her mother, she studied well and was diligent. She still lives with her parents and is still completely subservient to her mother. She cannot even allow herself to think about what exactly she wants, let alone bring it to life. Further work was built on so that Ira could learn to accept the “imperfect daughter” in herself and learn to feel like “good enough.” mother". It was like parallel work, mainly focused on working with the client’s needs, her different feelings, but I tried to ask at least once during the session about her relationship with her son, they were like a litmus test for our work. One of the important achievements that was achieved What Ira acquired in the process of work was that she learned to say no, first in close and safer relationships: to her friends and husband, then at work: to her colleagues and superiors, and then little by little she tried to express her protest to her mother, which was the most difficult, but the most promoting. Only after Ira learned to refuse “with or without reason,” just like a three-year-old child, was she able to think about what I really want and make conscious choices in my life. This is how the belated crisis of three years passed for her, where both protest and stubbornness manifested themselves and freedom and responsibility appeared. Ira was always diligent even as a client, she was never late, moreover, she came in advance, completed all my homework, and always listened to everything attentively and agreed with everything. Once she was 20 minutes late for a session, and when she arrived she was very apologetic, saying that she had let me down so much, that she was very uncomfortable and ashamed, I told her that I was not offended, moreover, our relationship was clearly regulated by the contract, and if she If she is late, she takes away the time of being late only from herself. And then one day Ira simply didn’t come to the session, didn’t warn me, as it turned out, she just forgot about her (we had an agreement that she had to pay for the missed session), the next time she just brought the money and calmly and responsibly gave it to me, without any apologies and sighs about how bad she is, this, in my opinion, was a moment of growing up. It was as if she tested herself like this, first forgot about the session, and then acted responsibly as an adult. As Ira discovered her desires and tried to make them come true, her relationship with her son became more tolerant and even warm, she began to give him more freedom in his school and home affairs, and began to feel less shame in front of her mother for having such a “negligent” child. When our relationship ended, Ira left as an adult and allowed her son to grow up..