A. Adler: “a child in his family is forced to feel like an emigrant in a foreign country.” Coming into this world, we do not know how everything works. To be accepted we need to learn the rules and norms by which people live here. And we do this by observing what is happening in our immediate environment, in our family. Thanks to such observation, we form concepts of what is good and what is bad, what should and should not be, life principles and principles. Our parents and other significant adults who care about us, show us an example of relationships, broadcast their feelings, reactions and messages, and taking all this as a basis, we form our inner Parent, from whose role we ourselves will subsequently interact with the world and with yourself. But what it will be like depends on the style of interaction between parents and other parental figures with the child in the family. So, if the environment of our growing up was caring and supportive, then our inner Parent will be LOVING and caring, and if there was criticism, aggression or indifference in the family , then our inner Parent can be formed as REJECTING, critical and cold. So, many people will say that in their head there is a voice of criticism, which is very similar to mom or dad. And it can call to conscience, force, drive, make sarcastic remarks and demand certain behavior. Or, on the contrary, the voice can kindly instruct, support and speak kind words, as the grandmother did. We can play the role of a Parent (not to be confused with the role of an Adult) in relation to ourselves or to the people around us. This state manifests itself when you: - patronize and care; - support and sympathize. - play the role of an elder and help from a top-down position; - give instructions and point out how to do it; - criticize for deviations from the norms, etc.; Analyze your dialogue, how do you talk and interact with yourself and others? Do you have a tendency to criticize or make comments? Or do you support and kindly conduct your internal and external dialogue? How do you usually interact: do you tend to order or gently negotiate? Do you tend to punish or strictly prohibit? Or do you give warmth and sympathy? Are you indifferent to your own or others' needs? Or you know how to take good care, namely care, and not indulge in weaknesses. Or, on the contrary, are you strangling with overprotection, not allowing yourself or others to develop, make mistakes and gain experience? Or do you support your own and others’ endeavors and the realization of dreams? If, in answering these questions, you notice that your personality structure is dominated by a REJECTING parent, do not despair, you can help him become LOVING. And he will be your ally in gaining self-confidence, creativity and the ability to understand yourself and your feelings. ————————As an illustration of how Emotional Imagery Therapy can help in working with a REJECTING parent - a case study ( permission received, name changed): Lisa complains of constant dissatisfaction with herself, apathy, irritability and sabotage of her goals. A voice constantly sounds in her head: “You’re doing everything wrong.” I asked Lisa to imagine the image of the one who criticizes her and the one who is criticized on empty chairs. Opposite each other appeared: an angry woman and a little drooping girl. In a dialogue with the images, we found out that the woman on the chair was the client’s mother, who was often dissatisfied with her daughter, and on the other was little Lisa. The girl perceived her message as: “You’re doing everything wrong. Don’t do it.” The way my mother interacted with Lisa migrated into the way she interacted with herself, and now she herself continues the baton of criticism started by her mother. They say it’s never too late to have a happy childhood. And fortunately, the arsenal of emotional-imaginative therapy has enough methods to change this story. In the course of the work, Lisa gave support to the image of herself as a little girl, returned her expectations and demands to her mother, and refused to accept and carry her criticism.