When, in a frank conversation, another person suddenly says: I should not have been in this world. A heavy silence hangs, his listener immediately becomes uncomfortable. This is how a person described what all people feel with a deep sense of guilt. A deep feeling of guilt is a feeling of guilt for your existence. An absurd idea, but extremely destructive: if you are guilty for your existence, then you do not have the right to a happy life, to joy and must be content with everything that the world sends you, even if it is terrible situations and trials. And whether he realizes it or not, a person with such a feeling lives in accordance with these restrictions. Even when life gives him the opportunity to receive something good quite deservedly, he himself refuses it. Conventionally, two types of guilt can be derived: superficial and deep. Superficial guilt Guilt is responsibility for the insults and misfortunes of other people, which these people shift to "guilty". “You’re not doing what I want. I feel bad and it’s your fault.” This feeling is easy to understand. It feels like discomfort in the chest, “not good in the soul,” like diving under water, like a mixture of melancholy and loneliness. It occurs when significant others blame a person for his actions. For example, a parent blames a child for getting a bad grade. It occurs when significant people want a person to take actions that do not coincide with his desires. If he acts as he wants, he will feel guilty. If he acts as others want, he will “turn away from his path in life”, voluntarily give his life into the wrong hands and will experience irritation. The more significant the choice, the stronger irritation. For example, parents may not be surprised that their son drops out of college in his 4th year and starts doing something “frivolous” if they persuaded him to take this particular option, and he wanted to enroll in another institution. The Birth of a Deep Feeling of Guilt A deep feeling of guilt arises when a child is one of the reasons for the difficult life of parents. Often parents themselves consider their children to be the reason for the low quality of their life, their misfortunes: I didn’t go abroad because I had to raise you. I didn’t manage to finish my studies because you were born. I had to endure your father's drunkenness to get you back on your feet. But deep-seated feelings of guilt can arise even when parents do not directly talk about the child's guilt in their misfortunes. At the age of 3, a child is able to very clearly and correctly read the emotions of other people. But at this age, the child also considers himself “the cause of everything in the world.” If mom and dad are constantly sad or angry, there is no doubt that it is he who is to blame for this. On some hand, this can help the child survive in such a family in the literal and figurative sense: he becomes soft, pliable, comfortable, obedient . He tries with all his might not to cause inconvenience or anxiety to the parents. In some cases, such tactics actually reduce the amount of emotional and physical abuse that a child has to endure in a family where the parents are unhappy and do not know how to control themselves. However, a deep-seated feeling of guilt becomes the essence of a person, and the rules it dictates become its lifestyle. A person with a deep sense of guilt in adulthood endures violence against himself even when there is every chance of avoiding it. Moreover, this person’s behavior provokes others to do “bad” things to him. How can you understand that a deep-seated feeling of guilt is ruling your life? It’s hard for a person to ask for help. He doesn't want to bother others. He believes that it is better to endure the inconvenience himself than to disturb someone. For the same reason, he often tolerates unacceptable behavior towards himself - it is difficult for him to ask him to stop doing something. A woman with a deep sense of guilt will carry heavy bags of groceries from the store herself while her husband is relaxing on the sofa. She will never ask him not to leave him: 8-918-253-73-83