In this article, I will generally reveal some secrets of mutual understanding, so that you do not once again demand from yourself and do not express claims to your loved ones. Naturally, happiness in the family depends on the awareness of both partners, and that’s all after all, a woman is more emotional, sensitive, multifaceted, inquisitive, and therefore a woman makes a greater contribution to the atmosphere inside the house, and a man, as a rule, organizes the atmosphere and safety outside the house - in society. A woman can both give wings and fill the house with love, and significantly clip your wings and make a wonderful family nest an insulator to which a healthy person is unlikely to want to return. So, to the secrets of mutual understanding. 1. Give thanks. Give thanks for what you no longer notice. Our everyday life often devalues ​​our actions. We often take simple things for granted, it is worth remembering “no one owes anyone anything.” Say thank you for your help in raising, for your attention, for the fact that your husband came home from work earlier, that he agreed to take you somewhere, that he found time and did some work around the house. And if you have the feeling that you are giving more than he is, work on your self-esteem and figure out who is forcing you to invest so much, and whether they are really asking you to do this.2. Focus your attention on what you like. Often we, unconsciously, due to our upbringing, try to correct what we don’t like, instead of developing what comes naturally. This applies to both you and your companion. Instead of grumbling “how sloppy you are, how insecure you are, what you...”, look at your chosen one, you chose him for some qualities that are important and valuable to you - talk about it. What I like about you is your determination, I like hearing your voice, I like the way you cook, I like the way you approach life, I like your smile. There is a MYTH that men don't care about compliments. Can you imagine yourself and his children, what is the significant difference? In the information content of compliments. We like to hear about how gentle, caring, kind, beautiful, sexy, etc. we are. A man likes masculine compliments: confident, decisive, responsible, brave, witty, resourceful, strong, smart, etc.3. Be beautiful for your husband, for the man you love. Yes, yes, naturally, first of all for yourself, and then for your husband, and not for a crowd of unfamiliar men. Compliments from the outside are great, but health in the home is much more pleasant, it is what creates security and support. You look at it through the eyes of men: at home in a robe or long shorts, or a T-shirt accidentally stained with paint, but at work or on a visit - dresses, hairstyle, makeup, shoes. If you are a queen, remain one always, this is an internal state, and not a demonstration performance for people. And by the way, have you seen the queen in pants? Even very comfortable and beautiful ones? Sort out your home wardrobe, everything is torn, stained, comfortable, but shapeless - throw it away and give it away, make room for something new (it is advisable to do this today - after that the brain will postpone this action as unimportant). If it’s a robe, then it’s a beautiful one, choose the color, quality, highlight your advantages; if there are slippers, then velvet ones. Not wearing makeup is great! Keep yourself fresh, rested, take time for yourself to fuel your man's love. Exercise, clean water, masks, natural products, preserve your youth for yourself and your loved ones, and not so that people you don’t know evaluate you. You will like yourself, fall in love with yourself and, according to the law, a man will fall in love with you again and again. 4. Support your man. If you chose this man, you are now on the same team. It is beneficial for you to trust him, believe and support him. If you have ever been involved in team sports or worked in a well-coordinated team, you know this feeling, where there is a common goal, but different linksperform different functions. Realize that you have one goal - family. You remain each a unique individual, you are just organizing a new system that has a common goal, therefore both you and He are interested. You are not doing this for his sake, but primarily for yourself. This awareness will help you a lot. Share his views, and don’t criticize, talk, if you don’t agree, express your opinion, but with reason, and not just because you don’t want to. Consider with him his ideas and plans, as well as your own, if there is a need for this. Believe in him - this is your team, you are interested in a common goal - a happy family. If you don’t like it, just tell me why “dear, you know, I just intuitively feel”, “maybe you’re right, but what if we consider this option”, “I agree with you, but haven’t you thought about these consequences” . Cross out from your vocabulary “Ahh, I told you,” “you’re not listening to me again,” “don’t do this, it won’t work anyway,” etc.5. Be yourself, don't lose yourself. Yes, exactly, despite the fact that you are a team, you still remain a unique individual. Many women dissolve in the family, in the house, in the husband, after some time dissatisfaction and emptiness sets in, then the meaning in a joyful life is lost, all that remains is a duty to someone unknown. Don’t put yourself in debt, yes there is a man, yes there are responsibilities around the house, yes there are children - realize that we do everything first of all for ourselves, even giving birth to children. Realize that you yourself like to live in a clean house, you yourself like it when your husband wears a clean and ironed shirt, you yourself like to work with your children. When you start paying attention to the fact that you like it, enjoy this process, you will gain more strength, and life will become much easier. Find time for yourself and your hobbies, and when you do something again, be aware of what you are doing for yourself. Then your pretentiousness towards the world and your loved ones will decrease, and then completely transform into strength and joy. 6. Ask questions and express desires and opinions. I realize that you have heard this 100 times, maybe more, and yet I repeat, most women and men who come for consultations say in the process of analysis “I thought he would guess”, “I thought she would understand” , “well, it’s natural, how can you not understand this”, “yes, these are everyone’s duties”, etc. and so on. Stop thinking, start seeing reality, not a projection of your reality. If you have been taught to say thank you when leaving the table, this does not mean that everyone does it. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean that everyone can do it. If you think so, this does not mean that this is the truth, norm or law. Develop your flexibility and take an interest in others by speaking your mind. When you freely ask questions - the person opens up to you, when you explain your reaction to some behavior, as well as the consequences of a long-term reaction - the person begins to realize that in strategic terms it is easier for him to change behavior than the future consequences. Understand yourself and tell others about yourself.7. Give up the goal “we need to change it, fix it, make it better”, set a different goal “to learn, to reveal, to be interested.” Yes, we have been accustomed to standards and patterns - but this path does not lead to happiness, although it leads to illusory stability, which in reality means degradation and slow death. Life is dynamics. Forget that you know the person, that's a lie. The majority do not know or understand themselves, let alone others. In fact, in any alterations - you have a selfish goal, you are using another person and suppressing his free will - you are trying to create safe conditions for yourself, because you feel your insecurity. If you have healthy self-esteem, there is no danger, as there is trust and acceptance. Accept yourself and accept others, relax and reveal yourself and the men you love. You came up with the idea that you know him better than yourself, in fact, often another person,!