In a relationship you are loved, taken care of, fulfilled all your desires, idolized. I believe that if not every man, then every woman dreams of such love. However, everything is not so simple. There are situations when a man/woman is sincerely loved, but the more love and care this person receives, the worse it becomes for him/her. Why does this paradox arise? Yes, because such a person is programmed not for a feeling of happiness, but for suffering and martyrdom. And even if circumstances contradict this suffering, the martyr will constantly be in negative mental states, convincing others that it is not he/she who is to blame for the suffering, but someone else. My interest in the theme of the martyr-sufferer arose after visiting the play “Sin and misfortune lives on no one” at the Et Cetera theater. The name of the drama “Sin and misfortune lives on no one,” written by A.S. Ostrovsky in 1862, he took it from a Russian proverb and means to do something to one’s own misfortune, unfortunately, and that anyone can encounter misfortune and fall into sin. I really liked Marina Brusnikina’s production. The division of the staircase into 2 milestones - the upper one is 19th century, the lower one is 21st - is quite original. But it is interesting to interpret the perception of the plot by the average person and consider it from a psychological perspective. If from the first position we see the suffering of a young woman who, out of necessity, did not marry a young merchant out of love, i.e. according to calculation, then with the second - a complex of martyrdom with the sincere love of a partner, a tendency to codependent relationships with a man who is indifferent, the impossibility of building harmonious relationships. The fact that the first position is exactly this can be judged by the quote from director Marina Brusnikina, who described the reason for choosing the play : "A play about great love, betrayal, the clash of truths and people's rights to freedom of choice and the inability to live as they want." However, great love is only on the part of the married Tatiana for the landowner, and her husband Lev for his wife Tatiana. On the part of the lover, the landowner Valentin, it was just an affair out of boredom. The suffering of the young woman was beautifully depicted in the Russian folk song performed at the performance. Let's consider the types of love presented in the play, taking into account psychological attitudes towards love. About psychological attitudes towards love, their influence on relationships https://www.b17.ru/article/o_psihologicheskih_ustanovkah_po_otnos/ Married Tatyana experiences a kind of love for the landowner Valentin, such as mania, accompanied by an all-consuming fixation on him with thoughts and feelings. And he even agrees to his proposal: “I’ll rent an apartment for you. I’ll come here once a month.” Husband Leo experiences a type of love for Tatyana called agape. Knowing that his wife does not love him, he hopes to awaken her feelings for him with care and affection: “I love you so much that I will respect your every whim,” “If she endures it, she will fall in love. As soon as the master leaves, I will take her again with affection.” , “Someone wants money, fame. I don’t need anything. As long as she loves me.” However, the consumer attitude towards the husband shows the futility of this type of love. And even more than that, Tatyana takes a martyr’s position, complaining to her sister that she is forced to live with her unloved husband. On the one hand, she is tormented by an unquenchable thirst for love for a man who simply spends time with her, on the other hand, she suffers from a sense of her own insignificance, afraid of “exposure”, since deep in her soul lives the conviction that she is stealing love illegally. And the more her husband shows her signs of attention and love, the worse she feels. The position of martyrdom is expressed in an obsessive desire for the love of the landowner; tendency to build dependent relationships with him; self-deprecation; secret self-contempt, feelings of guilt; substitution of responsibility “my husband is responsible for my misfortunes”; the need to complain to her sister, from whom changes in her life do not depend for the sake of sympathy, the desire for her to know what torment she experiences living with an unloved husband, secret infliction/