Almost any parent wants the best for their child. This is quite justified, but often the parent replaces the child’s desires and aspirations with his own aspirations. This becomes especially noticeable when the child reaches adolescence. The position of an adult on a huge number of things does not coincide with the attitude of a teenager towards the same. Much has already been written about maximalism in children at this age, about the fact that they do not yet have much social experience, and so on, but this is not about that now. At this moment, the child shows interest in a large number of things, he gains his own experience, and, from the point of view of the parents, they / the children / choose, sometimes, not entirely safe ways. Naturally, adults consider it their sacred duty to protect the child from any injuries and troubles. And if something happens, they try to correct the situation as soon as possible, so that the child does not suffer in any way. It would seem that everything is correct, but when it turns into importunity and the process of close guardianship begins, the consequences can be the most dire. Any, and especially strict, control causes quite natural resistance. At this moment, parents are driven not only by a feeling of care and love, but also, strangely enough, by the desire to find or maintain their inner peace. One of the main goals of everything that people do is to find peace, a banal example: the desire to earn as much money as possible is determined, almost primarily, by the desire to maintain peace, one’s inner peace. The need for one's own safety is one of the most important for a person. In relation to a child, this can be expressed in different forms. Very often, adults use the directive-command type of communication with a teenager. This does not always happen because the parent treats their child “badly,” but because it is much easier to order than to explain. After all, it is clear that for this you will have to spend time, your internal resources / and after work you have no strength at all /, and in the end force yourself to understand and experience the controversial situation that is happening with the child, and this is already a disturbance of peace. Another, far from uncommon way to “control” a teenager is to give him everything or almost everything he wants and let him figure it out himself. It turns out that the adult pays off the child and, in fact, is eliminated from his life, and this is accompanied by a blurring of the concepts of “possible” and “impossible.” It is believed that a wealthy and prosperous child can make his own decisions. Whether this is right or wrong depends on many options, but when you encounter similar situations, I remember the words of the mother of one drug addict boy: “We did everything for him, we bought everything he didn’t want, but this is how he did it.” Communication with a teenager is, of course, not an easy task. In my opinion, one of the important points in this is not condemnation, with subsequent not always pleasant consequences, and not unconditional acceptance of all the actions and deeds of a young man, but the opportunity to give him an explanation for his choice. At least try to understand what motivated the child in doing this. It is equally important to convey that he himself will be responsible for the consequences. Make it clear that conscience is not an abstract category, but first of all responsibility for one’s actions. PS If you liked the article, do not hesitate to use the “say thank you” form) PS2 You can sign up for an online consultation with me here https://vk.cc /6tdHhd