Dear reader, greetings! The topic that will be discussed in this article is adultery. How to survive the betrayal of your husband or wife? How to forgive betrayal of a loved one and whether to forgive? [b] Do I need to forgive or do I want to forgive betrayal? Should I regard this as a betrayal or are there other sides here?[/b]But most importantly, how can I live in all this? It’s hard and difficult, God knows what’s going on in your soul and you don’t know where to go from pain, tears, disappointment and fear of losing your loved one, or rejecting him yourself out of anger and hatred. Anything can happen. From jealousy you can do a lot of things, fall into paranoia, search everything in the house, listen in, spy... Well, in general - how someone copes, how anyone can. In a word, this is definitely a stressful situation. Especially when it was unexpected and nothing, as it seemed, foreshadowed these events... I myself had to experience something similar without being at all familiar with psychology... Essentially speaking, adultery is an inevitable course of development of relationships in almost every family, it is a crisis that propels relationships into another point or to another level, no matter how sad it is to hear this. And the first thing I advise you to do is to listen to yourself, treat yourself very carefully, but give free rein to your feelings and just experience it, experience it with the full amplitude of feelings. For what? Then, so that later you can let it go, and not chew on it for another year (or even many years) and not turn it into diseases, tumors, depression, etc. The list can be long, believe me... You can still play this unfinished situation over and over again in a new relationship. What does it mean to survive? This is where I want to go into more detail. It is very important not to do anything right away, no action and not to figure out why and who is to blame - leave it for later. First, give free rein to your feelings - ENTER INTO KIND AND HONEST CONTACT WITH YOUR EMOTIONS AND YOUR BODY - it is wise and will tell you what to do over time! The main thing is not to rush and understand that “I have the right to experience any feelings and for as long as I need.” Don't judge yourself, and certainly don't share it with those who might. At this stage, it is very important to speak out, express everything that is on your soul - the ideal option is to do this with a psychologist, but if this is not possible, then share it with a friend, who should be told in advance that advice is not needed, but just stay nearby and listen to me. What is happening at this moment - you, like a jug, are now filled with unbearable emotions, feelings and your task in dialogue is to allow yourself to pour them out (cry, scream, get angry, fight back, grieve - it can be anything). After such a dialogue (one or many), the top layer of feelings will go away, and under it you will find other experiences and emotions that will give you a hint what to do next. For example, if you feel anger, indignation, rage, give vent - get angry , express all the painful things! Most likely, along with this there will be accusations and claims, reproaches, but it is important to talk it all out with a psychologist. Perhaps this will be an encounter with pain, fear or shame (this will take several sessions or more). Then you can see what feelings will appear - perhaps it’s fatigue from the relationship with this person, coldness, detachment, loss of interest, or it turns out that it’s just a habit of being around, sadness that everything is long gone. Or maybe, on the contrary, you still love him (her) and there is a place for warmth and tenderness, and from this you can draw strength for forgiveness or building new, more conscious relationships... Maybe you will only now understand how dear and valuable this person is to you, and in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, they simply forgot about it. Simply by not “breathing out” the first emotions, you will not be able to feel the real ones. Very often during this period, trust in your partner is lost, and it will not arise again on its own until you talk to him about your feelings. I want to focus on feelings, and not on thoughts, accusations and assessment of actions or assessment of the partner himself. Now I will demonstrate.