From the author: An episode from work with patients of a medical sanatorium (specific circumstances and personal data have been changed, published with the client’s permission) The client (An) was recovering in a dispensary after undergoing treatment for a heart condition attack. (The patient’s recovery is going well, but we are concerned about her depressive state. She is silent all the time, doesn’t ask anything, has never asked when she will be discharged, complete indifference - the attending physician) A year ago, An’s son tragically died. All this time she feels a sense of guilt for not supporting her son, who some time before his death complained to her that: “there is no meaning in life, although everything seems to be there... There is no happiness.” She reproaches herself for at that moment she even swore at her son, saying: “I got married, so live now and don’t complain.” After the death of her son, she was left virtually alone (“it’s good for my husband - he drank and forgot about everything”), the daughter has her own family (she talks about her daughter in a distant way, like a stranger) constantly thinks about her son, about her guilt, talks to his photographs. She has a good ability for visualization, on the eve of an attack, she turned as usual (according to her, she did this every day) to a photograph of her son: “Well, are you standing there? are you silent? Would you at least say a word? And I “heard” a very distinctly female voice: “Die!” (According to An, the voice (for some reason?!) did not look like her own...), she felt bad. And the next day there was an attack. During the session, she reasons: “I think that after this I have no right to live...” She speaks reluctantly about the present (family, relationships with loved ones, etc.), aloof, and is inspired only when it comes to about the son of his life. (Immersed in grief for her son, she pushed away her daughter, with whom she had never been close: “She is not as kind and affectionate as her son was, she’s kind of callous - independent...” Although An herself was raised by her mother Also, their relationship was not close, but, she says, “I always loved my mother.” Second session: The main feeling that “helps” An escape from life is guilt. She “did not understand her son, did not hold her back, did not read his thoughts, didn’t give motherly love.” Working with “two chairs,” she said from her son’s chair: “I didn’t think mom that you loved me so much!”... After the “dialogue” with her son, she felt emptiness (This is better than the desire for death, but. what will we fill it with? How will we return to real life? My option - with a relationship with my daughter, which, as such, never existed... She seemed to support (but there was still confusion... confusion, demonstrating how far she had gone, leaving life, closer to her son...) The awareness of guilt towards her daughter, for “expelling” her from her life, occurred while working on An’s relationship with her mother: “even though I loved my mother, I always missed her warmth and care, and I miss it even now when my mother no longer... Maybe my daughter feels just as bad with me? Maybe! After all, I completely abandoned her!” (The degree of awareness was demonstrated by An’s changed behavior. Emotions, feelings appeared, she seemed to have melted. She cried for a long time, saying that she was to blame for her daughter, that she would ask her for forgiveness as soon as she left the hospital. Having calmed down, started talking about her relationship with her daughter-in-law. No longer from the point of view of her guilt in what happened, as in the first session, but discussing the fact that her daughter-in-law realized her guilt and was attentive to her during her illness (“even called the hospital, and will continue to call the hospital.” Monday” (she said joyfully and even with some pride) For the first time in two sessions she spoke about the future (even if in connection with guilt towards her son): “I don’t know how I can accept my daughter-in-law’s new husband, how I will react...” An’s existential guilt that she was not a mother, in the full sense of her understanding of the word, when it was possible and necessary. There are always things that prevent us from being “here and now” every moment, even if we understand that this is not right. What to do the meaning of life, when you understand that what happened cannot be changed by any understanding and awareness? You can be “frozen” in the past and punish yourself with constant guilt. Then I",)