I have already written about life from the role of victim and aggressor, it remains to describe the third role from the Karpman triangle - the role of a rescuer. These roles are natural and normal. Mental maturity, or in other words, stability, is based largely on the fact that we have a wide variety of roles. This makes it possible not to fixate on any one, some stereotypical behavior, but to use different models of behavior, taking into account the context of the situation. The difficulty arises if there are very few roles in our repertoire, or if there are very favorite roles that we play anywhere and anytime, without taking into account the situation. I am writing this text primarily to describe the role. When the role is named and described, it becomes possible to recognize it, to notice that I am performing it. Accordingly, a choice appears - to continue to behave this way, or to try some other behavior that more fully reflects me in this situation. The role of the rescuer is the most difficult to analyze. The shadow aspects of this role are difficult to recognize. This part of the self is like a sparkling shield, like beautiful armor that protects so well and shines so beautifully that it is difficult to give it up and “change clothes.” Even when I’m already tired of their load. It's like giving up love, because armor is a way of satisfying the need for acceptance. The suffering of the rescuer is the least obvious, his loss eludes everyone, even the rescuer himself. The rescuer feels discomfort that he doesn’t seem to belong to himself, but these thoughts quickly disappear as soon as he again experiences the thrill of being needed. In the rescuer’s situation, true identity is replaced by identification with a specific role. His feeling of being alive is inextricably linked with helping those suffering. "I am there as long as they need me." The unsaid “as long as I meet expectations” remains in the shadows. There is no autonomous stability and self-determination. Failure to meet the expectations of other people turns out to be such a serious challenge for their personality that it is experienced as a variant of abandonment. the rescuer is the one who turned everything inside out. He took control of abandonment by becoming hyper-functional. One that is impossible to refuse. And at the same time, the rescuer did not abandon his vulnerable part. He simply placed it entirely into someone else who needed to be saved. This will become the main trap. By saving another, he metaphorically saves himself, but the saved person takes real salvation with him. The metaphorical action of self-rescue through another loses its power, like Cinderella's carriage, which turns back into a pumpkin. Suffering rises again, discomfort increases, and the rescuer has no other way to deal with it than to place it in another again. And so in a circle. This is how a “successful self” is formed, deprived of connection with its suffering and unpleasant experiences. Receiving powerful positive reinforcement from the outside. The rescuer is the one who controls everything. Sometimes at the cost of such tension that it begins to seem that you can’t breathe. The rescuer is poorly aware of himself and sees others very fragmentarily. He is like Batman, he hears cries for help, but does not hear calls to share moments of pleasure. It is beyond imaginable to simply be close to another, involved, sharing the atmosphere of what is happening. To be with another, and not to do something for another. Refusal to use the rescuer while maintaining an attentive presence next to him, affects the rescuer like a burn. He cannot allow someone to be with him for his own sake. In therapy, if he accidentally finds himself in it, he is engaged in saving the therapist. I want to finish this text with a quote from Verena Kast’s book “Fathers-Daughters, Mothers-Sons” , which, in my opinion, describes this role very well: “There is a great need for acceptance and love. If they are difficult to access or are not enough compared to a person’s expectations, then he tries to exist at the level of functional success. A person tries to meet the demands of the world, although he already feels angry because the world does not.»