In general, any relationship is a path. Sometimes it’s easy and everything works out perfectly, sometimes you need to work a little to overcome alienation or negative emotions. What basic things can and should be done to be on the path to a full-fledged happy relationship?1. Choose the right partner. Ask yourself questions: How does he treat me, does he suit me? Does he love me and rejoice in my joy? Is he trying to humiliate, devalue or use me? Or, on the contrary, he supports me, helps me create comfort, encourages me if I feel bad. If you understand that you are not pleased, trust yourself, this person will not bring you happiness. If in the first six months you already have big fights, feel bad, were humiliated or insulted, it will get worse. Trying to change those who do not know how to love (as you need) is a very unworkable strategy. If the person in front of you is not yours, bypass him, no matter how much you want to try or save his lost soul and teach him good things. If you constantly associate yourself with such people, then maybe it’s worth thinking about why? 2. Know yourself and talk about your needs, sometimes ask your partner to satisfy them. It's okay to ask, to pay attention to your values. No one can guess what I want, so it's important to talk about it openly. On the contrary, if you think that your thoughts should be “read”, then this is a very unhealthy relationship in the end, sparkling from accumulated aggression in the end. If I can’t express my needs in words, then why? And if I don’t know about my needs yet, then how did this happen? 3. Gratitude and appreciation. Appreciating, thanking your partner and doing it sincerely for his contribution to you is what strengthens relationships at any age and any status, whether they are child-parent, friendly or marital. Reciprocity is a key element of successful and healthy love, so it is important to give and receive joy from relationships and being together. If I feel like I'm constantly giving but getting nothing in return, then who upsets that balance? Why am I allowing this? Why is this the norm for me?4. Self-sufficiency. It is important to be able to take care of yourself and your needs, like an adult and mature person on your own. No one can do this for me, so it’s important to learn how to meet your own needs. If I expect maternal or paternal love from my partner, then why and how to fix this? Such a relationship will not produce an adult couple; no one wants to be eaten by another person, or serve other people’s needs. On the other hand, relationships can be different, the main thing is that both people are satisfied with them and are harmonious.5. To love. Show empathy, support, and care for your partner without expecting anything in return. To love is a verb, which means a set of actions. The more we give, the more strongly we feel, the relationship strengthens and fills us. It is important to speak openly about your desires, and not to bargain with your love. If I feel like my wishes are not being taken into account, can I change this? Is this normal for me? Why do I allow this to happen to myself? I hope it’s useful) In general, it’s interesting to run all my relationships through this list to reassess how I feel, what I do and what I receive. I write more often in my group, check it out https://vk.com/tbmakarova