How not to lose yourself in a relationship Just imagine, you live a quiet life, work, meet with friends, go to the gym, bars, a macramé club, in the evenings you drink a glass of tea with an interesting book, collect refrigerator magnets and make plans to take over the world. All that is missing is the other half. And now HE looms on the horizon. He sees you and falls madly in love. You start living together, and after some time, bars, friends, a macramé club begin to disappear from your life... Everything disappears, you even listen to your music only when he is not around. But in your life now there is fishing, a garage , his friends, his mother, his hobbies, and more ironing. You started dressing differently because he likes it better. You read an article on the Internet and think that it would be useful for him. You constantly worry about where he is, what’s wrong with him, who he’s with, maybe he’s hungry, whether he’s done the things he promised, etc. In general, as in Dubtsova’s song, “only thoughts are all about him and about him, about him and about him.” All your interests and hobbies become secondary. You consider them on a residual basis. And, of course, hands almost never reach them. But at some point he will get bored with you too. He chose an interesting woman with many hobbies and sparkling eyes, and in the end he received an obedient gray mouse looking into his mouth or a mother hen. All your hobbies and interests make you you. They are the ones who make life interesting, and an interesting life makes your eyes sparkle. Fill the space around you with what lights you up. Never give up your hobbies completely. As long as you are interesting to yourself, you will be interesting to others. When someone new comes into life, they need to make room for them. But you shouldn’t bulldoze through your old life, throwing out everything that filled it before. You must put yourself first. It’s normal that on the weekend you go to your friends, and he goes to his. It's normal that you watched the webinar and didn't clean your house. It’s normal that you go to a workout on schedule, even if he says “why do you need this, let’s lie in bed.” Keep doing everything that made you you, and you won’t lose yourself. The next part is how not to lose a relationship by losing themselves in them? Let's imagine a situation opposite to the one I just described. Your life is boring, there is nothing interesting in it. Every day it’s the same thing, work, home, work, home. Sometimes you meet with friends, but they don’t bring you joy either. But then a prince bursts into your life and fills it with meaning. Now he becomes the center of your universe, and you endure everything so as not to lose him. You look after him, try to do everything to make him happy. Your entire universe revolves around him. So he decides how to spend the weekend. If he decides to spend the day playing tanks, you obediently sit at home, or run to the store to cook him a delicious lunch. If he goes out with friends, you again wait for him, preparing lunch, and staring at the phone, waiting for a call from him. No matter what we’re talking about, he sets the direction of movement, and you’re like a dog in a bag, where it goes, that’s where it goes. What do you think you’ll talk about in a year, two, ten? Will he be interested in being around you at all? Convenient - 100%, interesting, definitely not. Perhaps he won’t even leave you, because it’s safe with you, it’s always clear what to expect from you, HO...Your life should revolve around you first of all. Fill yourself. If he is not around, take care of yourself, your education, your appearance, your health. This works much better than 10 pickles, first, second, third and compote. If you only make him want to eat, then he will only eat with you. Now I’m not saying that there should be model parameters, always with makeup and hairstyle, no. I mean that he should be interested in what you do, how your day went, it’s interesting to talk to you, help you, look after you. Remember, if you’re interesting to yourself, you’re interesting to everyone. If you love, take care of yourself,