To remain normal in any situation, it is important for us to feel support and protection. And in addition to internal support, the support of loved ones is important for everyone, but what to do if it’s difficult to find the words? If, apart from the notorious “everything will be fine,” nothing comes to mind? This is the case when it is not words that are more important. Photo by @senivpetro Oxytocin is a brain chemical that is closely related to long-term happiness in relationships. It can be put in contrast to dopamine, which gives only a short-term effect of joy and happiness from purchases, gifts - any material things, regardless of their scale, be it a bouquet of flowers or a new car. How to gain a long-term sense of well-being? A sense of community, connection with other people creates an internal sense of security and vitality. Give your loved ones this feeling through an increase in oxytocin levels: photo from rawpixel.com Sit next to each other, touching your hands, feet - any touch to each other will do. At this time it is not at all necessary to talk. Do something together: cook, watch a movie, go out for a walk in the park, put together a puzzle, sow flower seeds, vegetables, read a book. Laugh together: remember or make up stories, act out a skit, play crocodile. Choose photos where you are not posing together, looking at the camera or in the same direction , but those where you were “caught” in moments of joy or intimacy. Research shows that remembering moments like these strengthens the bond between you. Print these photos, decorate your room with them and put them on your phone or laptop screensaver. Create and maintain family traditions. These could be activities on traditional holidays: baking pancakes for Maslenitsa and Easter cakes for Easter, giving gifts for the New Year and February 14, dousing yourself or going to a pond on Midsummer Day. Or your individual ones: visiting grandpa on Sundays and baking potato pancakes together, family dinner on grandma’s name day, reading role-playing books, staging a home play during the holidays, joint morning jogging, visiting the bathhouse once a month, picnic on Saturdays, joint meditation, planting trees when a new family member arrives (the birth of a child, the marriage of a daughter). Maintain family rituals on an ordinary day: say kind words and words of gratitude to each other and the world, praise for every task completed, leaving and coming, kiss and hug, write notes with wishes, send each other your photos during the day with pleasant words to remind you that you always remember and think about each other. Systematicity and regularity are also important here. Fill your day, your week, your life with these moments. Then your strong connection will help you survive any adversity. And next time I will describe for you the algorithm for verbal support: what you absolutely cannot do and say, and what will give you a true sense of community and reassurance. Peace and goodness to everyone! Photo by @pvproductions Sign up for the training “The Power of Boundaries: How to Learn to Say <No>”. We will find your personal “plugs” in setting boundaries and practice in a safe environment. Groups both online and offline. Start as groups of 5 or more people are recruited.