Why do we need a family! Today I will touch on a strange topic, but as practice shows, it is important. I come across a little, and sometimes a lot, distorted idea of ​​the function of the family in a child’s life. Let's try to figure it out. So the family is the place where a child can survive and become an independent adult. The main functions of the family: - Provide resources for survival (food, shelter, clothing, care and health care) - Protection (under any circumstances, the child should have the right to protection) it often happens that a child at home suffers from injustice and cruelty more than outside the family. These may be older children, from whom parents sometimes also have to protect, it may be one of the parents - then the task of the second is to legalize and discuss this by making amendments. A child comes to a family and lives according to the family’s rules, but at some moments or in some matters, the child also has the right to change the family rules to take into account his needs. - Teaching social skills and rules. This is usually the most suffering function; no one teaches parents how to be parents, and sometimes this is not so easy. Let me give you an example: I’m standing in line, there are several other women there, two of them with children, a boy of about 6 years old and a girl of 2.5-3 years old. The girl is actively jumping around and inventing fun things for herself, and the boy is looking at her with interest and is clearly having difficulty starting a game with her. The Boy's mother stands at a distance and does not help him, but rather looks at him warily. The girl came up with the idea of ​​jumping off the steps and the boy tried, the mother tutted at the boy. He looked, looked at the girl with envy and pushed her, she fell pretty much and burst into tears. The boy froze, his mother looked at him and didn’t say anything, the girl’s mother took her in her arms and didn’t let her go. I then thought about this situation for a long time, because these are the very moments where we can teach children to cope and find ways out. What could the boy’s mother do? Tell him that it was wrong and help him apologize, 👆not force him to apologize, but help, for example, apologize to the girl’s mother herself, then offer him help in talking to the girl and maybe some then say the words for him.🌱Tell a story from your childhood about how difficult it was to be friends and what helped.🌱I think it would be important to take the position not of a judge, but of an assistant who came not to condemn, but to help correct what had already happened. Likewise in other situations, we, as parents, are the main mirror of children's actions. We give names to actions and do not abandon the child for committing this action, but help correct it. Then the child gains experience that he can make mistakes and this can be corrected. The fear of error will not be formed so acutely; it will be unpleasant to make a mistake, but this fear will not be paralyzing. We teach the child not only the rules, but also help him to know himself, to know his strengths, we teach him to find out what is happening to him, what kind of feelings he experiences, and how to cope with these feelings. Using the same example, it would be good for the boy’s mother to notice his interest and difficulty. Say - do you want to play with a girl? You don't know how to play with her? And then explain that she is still small and you need to play with her carefully, that she will not be able to support the plot of the game that interests you, but will bounce around like a ball. Because at this age all children play like this and you played like this. At this point, children usually become interested in asking around about their childhood, which is also very important. 💔We can talk about a dysfunctional family there: - where the child is not taught to cope, but is punished for failures. - where restrictions are not taken into account (age-related: for example, you need to cook at 8-9 years old; physical: fatigue, health characteristics, level of stress; mental: pace, characteristics of memory and thought processes, where the child is not helped to understand what kind of intelligence he has and how to effectively use what you have, and when demands are made on what you should be.) - where responsibility is not shared, but is placed entirely on the child (to share responsibility is to accept the fact that in conditions.