Today's thoughts on why and how feelings become avoided? And a little about sadness...I never cease to be surprised and admired by human nature - how complex and at the same time logical the human psyche is! Balance is the main goal. Our life is full of experiences, without this it is difficult to imagine a healthy person, right? But often, when faced with these same experiences, we complain that there are so many of them and their intensity. Avoiding or repressing experiences is, in a way, the norm. After all, if a person were continuously aware of everything that was happening to him and experienced it as consciously as possible, most likely he would go crazy. The main goal of repression is to minimize discomfort and care for those feelings that a person is not ready to accept at a given moment in time. How does this happen? The experience or feeling itself arises as a result of an event. Its intensity depends on the significance of this event. So the feeling of sadness, in my opinion, is an experience due to the completion of something. A person is sad about something or someone that is no longer there and cannot be returned. However, the experience of sadness is so unbearable for some people that the only way to maintain integrity and not go crazy is avoidance. The fear of staying in the past, becoming limp, sinking into depression, loss of energy - this is what, perhaps, pushes us to avoid sadness. Each of us can give several ways to avoid experiences. Here are some of them (perhaps you have your own - suggest, let's discuss) :Food is a universal way to drown out any experience. Everyone knows that food helps improve mood, relaxation, and for some people it is great for calming down. Watching TV or movies. A great way to switch gears, get carried away by someone else’s story, just not to think about your own. Another great way not to be sad is to think about the future. For example, some important event has ended, which lasted a long time, filled with different emotions and memories. And so, instead of living through the sadness, being with the sadness of parting, remembering everything you experienced, realizing the end and being filled with gratitude for the time spent. Instead, as if devaluing the moment, saying that a long farewell is useless, the person begins to plan a new business! And that’s it, he is already engulfed in new ideas, plans, etc. It’s sad... and it becomes even sadder when you realize that this principle of life has been brought up in us since childhood. Kindergarten is over - no need to be sad, school tomorrow! School is over, graduation is over - there’s no need to be sad, exams are just around the corner. Graduated from college - there is nothing to be sad about, it’s time to write a resume and plan interviews. I broke up with one person, my friends advise me - don’t be sad, you deserve better, and they invite you to parties and holidays. And so on in a circle... The above does not mean at all that there is a right and wrong way to live. It just happens sometimes that the environment (people, situation) is not resourceful or safe for us to experience everything that is in our hearts. Then repression becomes a lifesaver for us. Yes, it seems not bad anyway... life is too short to dwell on such insignificant moments - someone will object. But if you don’t know how to say goodbye, then how can you truly appreciate a new meeting?