We invariably add this phrase at the end of every wish to our family and friends, emphasizing how important this very happiness is for us. It reflects our deepest dreams and fears. And how often do we miss this - both men and women! She flew in and burst into the office like a whirlwind. Like a picture from a fashion magazine: fit and well-groomed. Dressed not flashily, but tastefully, she represented the image of a real “mistress of life.” Every movement, every gesture breathed with confidence and - I want to say - calm. But there was just no calm. She fell into a chair. She froze for a moment, collecting her thoughts. And without any background, in one breath: “Why does this always work out for me with men?” “Strong”, “independent”, “self-sufficient”, “business woman” - a special category of women who rarely turn to a psychologist for help when all other ways to solve the problem have already been tried. Such a woman’s appeal to a psychologist is always a “cry for help.” After all, she knows how to solve any problems! She always knows what she wants to achieve. And he achieves it! At home there is a full bowl, children are settled and provided for, at work there is respect and recognition, free time is tightly occupied and scheduled with interesting and enjoyable activities. Only her personal life is not going very happily. She has most likely already been married, and more than once. And the number of hobbies and unsuccessful unions cannot be counted. And every time such a lady breaks up with her husband or partner because he “does not meet her expectations and demands.” Why? Maybe she expects something from her man that he cannot give her? But she wants so little: care, attention, respect. The trouble is that she is not used to talking about her desires and needs. She knows how to take care of others, notice their mood and, whenever possible, satisfy their needs. Either she doesn't realize it, or she just doesn't know how to express her feelings. Often she cannot share her life with someone because she is considered self-sufficient and tough. You have to be very courageous to demonstrate to others the strength that she actually lacks! As a child, her parents spoiled her, but, apparently, not in the way she wanted. It often happens that a child dreams of receiving a game as a birthday gift to play with friends (remember, there were those, a sheet of colored cardboard with a route, chips and a cube)? And parents choose the most fashionable doll in the store - already the fifth in a row - and solemnly present it to the child. The girl does not want to upset her parents and cannot say that the doll is not cute to her. This, repeated many times, becomes habitual. Stepping on the throat of her desires, an already adult woman is afraid to offend her man and say what is wrong in their relationship. He tried. Another possible internal reason for failures in his personal life is the so-called tendency to fight. It doesn’t matter with whom and with what - with a rival, with social stereotypes, with a work colleague’s habit of not turning off the computer, with “windmills”, with one’s own complexes. Proving something to someone is an exciting activity, and it can be difficult to distract yourself from it, even when you no longer remember what you were trying to prove and to whom. The habit of always arguing is characteristic of those who faced misunderstanding and inattention to their desires in childhood. Is it necessary to clarify that these senseless and merciless wars exhaust both her and the man? But let’s leave childhood in the past. What else could prevent our heroine from building a warm relationship? What is preventing her from meeting a worthy man now? And no need to say that such men have disappeared! They are, were and will be. Something inside prevents you from finding just such a person. Why do dependent and irresponsible partners appear next to her with enviable consistency? The answer is very close. It is next to such men that she feels big, significant and needed. The thirst for power and complete control pushes her to rule. And she, this thirst, is even stronger than love. That's why it's called thirst. After all, when a person.