The golden mean Psychological laws are as real and material as all other laws. A comfortable temperature for a person is 23 degrees, if +13 is uncomfortable, cold, and +33 is already hot. That is, 23 degrees - for most, this is a comfort zone. From a psychological point of view, an assertive person can be called a comfort zone. Assertive behavior is a person’s confident, stable and positive behavior, independent of external influences and assessments. An assertive person is a person who shows respect for his personality, understands his own goals and rights, but at the same time takes into account the goals and rights of other people; This is a person who knows how to compromise. Assertiveness is not synonymous with rudeness, it implies persistence and politeness. Assertive behavior excludes two extremes: passivity and aggression, the role of the victim (“You owe me because I am weak, and the weak need to be supported”) and manipulation (“You owe me because...”). It does not force you to experience: self-doubt, fear in the face of change, fear of losing what has already been acquired, the desire to manipulate others, subordinating them to your interests. Assertive behavior promotes: The ability to spontaneously express one’s feelings (anger and joy, friendly and sexual feelings). Apply “I - statements”. Express your feelings without aggression, do not show your superiority over your interlocutor, but at the same time firmly adhere to your own line. Do not accumulate negative emotions and do not get stuck on negative events. Express your beliefs and thoughts, defend your opinion, your position, despite pressure from the opposite side; defend your personal rights, and not allow yourself to be exploited, harassed and used. Be able to say “No” Independently regulate your own behavior and be responsible for it. Do not take on someone else’s responsibility. Clearly formulate your goals and achieve them. The ability to compromise or cooperate. Do not use threats, criticism, or evaluate others. This behavior implies a lack of manipulation and emotional blackmail, and respect for the rights of others! Do not use “shoulds.” The principle of assertive behavior: “I don’t owe you anything, and you don’t owe me anything, we are partners.” Basic Rights of Assertiveness: Express feelings Express opinions and beliefs Say “yes” or “no” Change your mind Say “I don’t understand” Be yourself and don’t adapt to others Don’t take on other people’s responsibilities Ask others for things Set your own priorities Expect to be listened to and took you seriously. Err. Admit your mistakes and feel comfortable. Be illogical when making decisions. Say “I don’t care” or “I don’t care.” Be happy and successful. W. Kraft, W. Litvin and S. Barber [***] found that increased fear of death was significantly dependent on low levels of assertiveness. People with a high level of assertiveness cope more easily with tragedies such as the death of a loved one. Why? Because these people are more stress-resistant, these are people with high frustration tolerance. It is easier for them to cope with fears, anxious thoughts and stress. In our opinion, it is more effective to form and apply the principles of assertive behavior in people who unconditionally accept themselves (unconditional love) and, on the contrary, the development of assertiveness skills leads to the formation of unconditional self-love. In our practice, we observed The pattern is that clients successfully built relationships with loved ones, in parental relationships and in their families, using assertive behavior. It is easier for these people to negotiate, make mutual compromises, build equal partnerships and resolve conflicts. Such people are satisfied with relationships, capable of emotional support and acceptance. Assertiveness can also be characterized as responsibility, autonomy, independence, self-sufficiency and personal maturity. In our practice and work.