"Whoever hits you on your right cheek, turn the other one to him too" The most important resource for the development of Russian society is the education system. Education in the Russian Federation is a single, purposeful process of training and education carried out in an educational organization. As a social institution, an educational organization unites a large number of people of different ages and different statuses with a common goal. The administration of an educational organization, teachers, support staff, students and their parents are full participants in the educational process and, naturally, interpersonal interaction within its framework. The multifaceted interpersonal interaction of participants in the educational process also includes the presence of conflicts, since where there are opinions that differ from each other, where people meet who have different ideas about goals and ways to achieve them, about plans and principles of life, where the manifestation of Conflicts are inevitable in human individuality and creativity. Conflicts have always existed and today no one needs to prove their existence in an educational organization. Of course, the positive effect of conflict resolution can help improve interpersonal communication in general, but conflicts themselves, if treated correctly, can teach optimal interaction with the world, get to know yourself and people better, identify a variety of points of view, and acquire the skill of getting out of difficult conflict situations in life. . Civilized resolution of interpersonal conflict brings relationships to a higher quality level, expands the capabilities of the group as a whole, and unites it. Considering that the upbringing of children takes place in the space of personal relationships, the educational organization is called upon not only to teach, but also to educate correctly, that is, in every possible way to facilitate students’ assimilation of civilized means that shape the moral qualities of the individual. Who should be involved in education and is it even possible to separate education from education? Education is not so much thematic events that are aimed at developing certain specific qualities and are often formal in nature, but rather a constant process in which the image of the teacher plays a primary role. A student is educated by everything: the appearance of the teacher, the level of his erudition and social intelligence, moral qualities, as well as the ability to negotiate and resolve conflicts, but the question is whether an adult (teacher, parent, significant adult, beloved hero...) is always able to demonstrate by his own example for teenagers various ways and techniques of conflict resolution. What is the educational organization aimed at? To avoid conflicts, to suppress conflicts, to study them, to study situations that provoke conflicts, to search for civilized ways to resolve them, or something else? The administration of an educational organization should orient all participants in the educational process towards communication and the development of relationships that would contribute to the development of social intelligence. In this case, according to the definition of V.N. Kunitsina, social intelligence is individual inclinations, abilities, properties that facilitate the development in personal experience of skills and abilities of social actions and contacts. Social intelligence helps a person predict the development of interpersonal events, sharpens intuition, foresight, and provides psychological endurance. A distinctive characteristic and sign of a person with a high level of social intelligence is sufficient social competence. Unfortunately, the rules of school life adopted in many educational organizations and methods of responding to conflicts do not contribute to the development of social intelligence: students’ mastery of civilized communication skills, understanding of the diversity of interpersonal interactions, cultural formsgaining authority, defending leadership positions that are so necessary in adult life... Most often, adult participants in the educational process use methods such as moralizing, threats of punishment, stigmatization and formal resolution to resolve conflicts. There is so much moralizing that teenagers most often do not react, but are forced to endure the lectures of adults who condemn not only the act, but also the teenager himself. Unlike an orientation-moral conversation in which two or more interlocutors fully participate, moralizing is an adult’s monologue that destroys communication and causes the student to reject even those norms that in another situation he would recognize as fair. Threat of punishment, stigmatization - some students, who are often provocateurs or participants in conflicts, are branded by adult participants in the educational process, teachers, and sometimes parents as deviant, marginal individuals. Feeling afraid of conflicts due to the inability to use them as a resource for education, the teacher tries to adjust the “bully” to the educational process through a strict conversation with him, sends him to the administration or psychologists for “re-education”, uses pressure from classmates, and labels him. It happens that parents of classmates write applications to the director asking to be freed from such students because they interfere with their children’s ability to master educational programs. As a result, without receiving the desired result, the educational organization uses more serious threats against such students: expulsion from school, registration with the school, registration with the KDN and ZP, ODN, transfer to home or family education, to another school... Formal conflict resolution is more often used when the conflict occurs between elementary school students. In this situation, the teacher, as a rule, tries to convey to the parties to the conflict that both are to blame for the conflict and therefore it is necessary to make peace. Often this method works in elementary school, but does not work in middle and high school, since the situations that cause conflicts between adolescents become more and more differentiated. Having examined the most frequently used methods of resolving conflicts between students by adult participants in the educational process, we see that authoritarian attitudes relieve children of self-organization and make the development of personal moral qualities unnecessary. In addition, authoritarian methods contribute to: the formation of hidden - open confrontation, low self-esteem, repression of aggression, mistrust, primitivization of relationships... Students adopt this experience and carry it among their peers, not knowing other, more civilized ways of resolving conflicts. Moreover, these same methods for resolving conflicts are most often used by adult participants in the educational process: teacher-teacher, administration-teacher, parent-teacher, parent-parent. Such authoritarian ways of resolving conflicts do not teach students anything good and are not civilized. Having adopted this experience, for many schoolchildren the use of force is a fundamental factor in relationships; they consider violent conflict resolution one of the most effective methods and bring their destructive skills to society. In order for teenagers to master truly civilized forms of communication and activity, adults must be an example for them. In addition, through non-authoritarian methods of conflict resolution, adults are obliged to manage the processes occurring in children's and adolescent communities. In order to understand which civilized methods of resolving conflicts between participants in the educational process are acceptable in modern crisis socio-economic conditions and are the most economically feasible, let us recall biblical history. For Old Testament people it was normal to fulfill the law of revenge “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”,allowing you to return evil for evil. The law was not issued so that people would tear out each other’s eyes, but so that the offender would be afraid of being subjected to the same thing that he is subjecting to the offended. The law allowed for evil to be repaid only with equal evil, no more. However, the punished offender became irritated and offended even more, and the offended again tried to take revenge on him, and the evil thus grew, multiplied and had no end. So now, modern society is permeated with violence, cruelty, and crime. The media do not skimp on broadcasting programs promoting evil. Children and teenagers are imbued with negative energy and take everything they see and hear as a role model. The time has come when there is a lot of evil, children and teenagers behave aggressively, arrogantly, and not only with their peers, but also with adults - parents, teachers. Returning to history, in order to stop the process of increasing evil, people were given a new law: “Whoever strikes you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matthew 5:38-41). This does not mean that there is no need to sort out conflicts and punish all evil, it means that this needs to be done in civilized ways. When the impudent servant of the high priest hit Him on the cheek, he did not remain silent, did not offer him another cheek, but meekly said: “If I said... is it good that you beat Me?” (John 18:23). This example shows us a dialogue (communication) between conflicting parties, a civilized clarification of a conflict situation. We can observe one of the civilized ways of resolving conflicts in the international activities of the President of the Russian Federation V.V. Putin. He turns his right cheek, not responding to obvious aggressive attacks from Western partners, that is, he does not respond in the same way and thereby does not provoke conflict and stops evil. We see a vivid example of a civilized way of preventing, stopping, and resolving conflicts - civilized communication. Communication V.V. Putin's master class in mastering civilized communication, which includes the ability to listen and hear, correctly, accessiblely, clearly, clearly, reasonably, express your thoughts and not impose them on anyone, hold a pause, defend your point of view, achieve your goal while maintaining authority, leadership positions, personal qualities... By orienting schoolchildren towards exemplary communication, we will eventually see how teenage society will begin to “try on” this experience for themselves, which will play a role in the formation of an individual attitude towards the world and people. Developed communication skills will allow all participants in the educational process to maintain normal relationships in constantly changing conditions and thereby not create conflict situations, and if it so happens that a conflict is inevitable, these qualities will allow it to be resolved in a civilized way. If the offense concerns only you, when it does no harm to anyone else, and a feeling of revenge begins to boil in your heart, then you need to try to overcome the feeling of resentment and the desire to take revenge in order not to allow evil to multiply. Defeat your enemy with generosity and kindness. “If you do this, you will not feel offended, and your offender, even if he were fiercer than any beast, will be ashamed and will not strike you another blow; even for the first one he will blame himself extremely, for nothing restrains those who offend so much as the meek patience of the offended: from enemies and enemies they become their closest friends.” So, another civilized way of resolving conflicts. We are called to bear the wrongs inflicted on each of us individually. Patience is a quality of successful people; resentment destroys a person from the inside. There is such a method in psychology “Act outside the box.” For example, you were offended, don’t respond in kind, don’t keep this offense within yourself, overcome yourself, treat the offender with candy, do something nice for this person, and such an act will confuse the offender, make you think about your action, experiencefeeling remorse for your action, asking for forgiveness and perhaps even making a friend. When it comes to saving a person, protecting the weak, a friend... then it is necessary to resist evil. “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). In society, we are called to protect each other and be ready to even die for our neighbor. It has recently become very fashionable among teenagers to film bullying of one of their peers or weaklings on a mobile phone. It would be good to teach teenagers exactly this civilized method, and then perhaps there would be teenagers who would stand up for the offended, stopping the evil. The basis of education, which equally includes training and upbringing, should be unconditional sacrificial love between the participants in the educational process, including the ability to communicate in a civilized manner, the desire to understand, be patient, the desire to protect, the willingness to help... To extinguish evil at the very beginning with love. Remember Russian fairy tales, learn from their example and teach students to overcome evil with good. Conflicts in educational organizations are quite a common occurrence and the idea of ​​the need to work with conflicts is slowly but penetrating into society; a lot of special literature on conflictology has been published, but conflict management as a conscious action does not occur in most educational organizations. School mediation services could teach, educate, and guide all participants in the educational process to resolve conflicts in civilized, non-authoritarian ways. The main role in these services should belong to the head of the educational organization, who must undergo advanced training courses in conflict management. A leader, especially if he uses the principle of unity of command when performing his official duties, must be proficient and be able to apply in practice civilized methods of conflict resolution. The school mediation service should include: a teacher-psychologist, a deputy director for educational work, class teachers, parents from members of the parent committee and necessarily representatives from each class, preferably those who have well-developed social intelligence. The main goal of creating such a service in an educational organization is to reconcile conflicting parties using non-authoritarian methods of conflict resolution. Moreover, not only students, but also teachers, parents, and any interested participant in the educational process can contact the school mediation service. By what means will the parties be reconciled? The basis of the activity of the school mediation service is the organization of a conciliatory meeting of the conflicting parties, during which ways to resolve the conflict in a civilized manner are discussed. An adult should not act as a manager with the right to punish or engage in moralizing, but as a mentor with the right to share his life experience, while adhering to a common ideology - raising a patriot of our Motherland with a high level of development of social intelligence, who has the right social guidelines. Love, friendship, mutual understanding, mutual assistance, developing a positive attitude towards people and events, as well as setting and realizing goals form the basis of human existence, and this is what modern Russian education should be oriented towards. In a conflict situation, the student must act as a full participant in interpersonal interaction. The protection of an adult, as well as the protection of a child in a conflict situation, should be clearly aimed at reconciling the parties, while it is necessary to teach both of them conflict-free communication and optimal behavior in various conflict situations. The school mediation service is a channel for transmitting civilized norms of relationships between children through the children themselves, between teachers through teachers, between parents through parents=27