Often, over time, a lot of understatement, negativity, and mutual grievances accumulate in relationships. And now you look at that person with whom you were just recently going to spend your whole life, the only and closest one, only with increasing negativity. Relationships that were supposed to fill life with joy and positivity cause more and more resentment, resentment, and pain. But seemingly logical attempts to set boundaries and talk about painful issues do not give the expected result. Sound familiar? Why is this happening? As a rule, conversations and attempts to discuss current problems end in failure due to the wrong timing, the context of the conversation, and the way we talk about certain situations. All this is interpreted incorrectly, because your partner looks at your relationship through the same negative filter, formed due to fatigue, mutual grievances, discontent, disappointments, and is simply not ready to accept the next batch of problems, even with the promise of a solution. How to change the situation ?Start small. Stop smoothing over minor problems, and treat them as a resource: 1) learn to listen to your own feelings and pay attention to the slightest discomfort. 2) answer yourself the question: What is the reason for this discomfort and dissatisfaction? Is your partner objectively guilty? This will help you expand the picture of the formation of negativity. If not, what exactly causes anxiety and is it worth attention? 3) if there are objective reasons for dissatisfaction, learn to express them gently and in a constructive manner (how you say it will play a very important role!). 4) also try to celebrate and the slightest pleasant moments in your relationship: How nice it is to just sit together, watch TV, how comfortable you feel at one time or another, how important and pleasant the most ordinary, familiar signs of attention are for you. What is especially pleasant about his behavior. Then criticism will not look like something boring, unpleasant, intrusive, and the verbalization of pleasant moments will add more positivity and intimacy to your relationship.