When we are similar to those around us, we get along well. If there are many differences in our characters, misunderstanding arises, and hence quarrels and conflicts. Before eliminating disagreements, it is necessary to find out their causes. What if you simply misunderstood the other person’s intentions? How to find common ground and build a bridge towards constructive negotiations? No one wants to get involved with people who are opposed to him. Everyone subconsciously wants to know: are you with me or not? Benevolence is a tactic that can be used to find common ground between those in conflict. As a result of the mutual disposition that has arisen between people, it is possible to change the nature of their relationship, to reorient a person from confrontation to cooperation. Benevolence Each person has an individual manner of communication. In agreement, people imitate each other’s facial expressions, gestures, and speech patterns. Consciously express goodwill towards unbearable people by imitating their gestures, facial expressions, and emotional state. Adapt depending on the volume of the voice and the pace of speech. You can express goodwill Externally: gaze, facial expressions, emotional state; With the help of speech: timbre of voice, tempo of speech; Informatively: in words. Facial expressions and gestures Observe how you express goodwill, how they express it to you. Note that arguing people, on the contrary, try to highlight differences in the manner of communication. You should not express your goodwill too intrusively, so that the person does not think that he is being mocked. You don't need to repeat the movements exactly. Just imagine that in front of you is a very pleasant person. For example, if the other person is shaking his leg, you can start tapping a pencil on the table at the same pace. Attention: never repeat hostile gestures! Don't respond to aggression with aggression. Step back, do not accept the rules of the aggressor's game. Volume of voice and pace of speech Sometimes people stop listening to you not because of WHAT you say, but because of HOW you say. Some do not perceive loud speech, others do not listen to the end of slow speech, and begin to get irritated and urge them on. Try to adapt to your interlocutor: copy his pace and volume of speech, intonation (a smooth announcer or a bright emotional voice). If several people are participating in the conversation, choose the one most relevant to your goals and adapt to him. Practice doing “mirror” with a person you know well. Agree with a friend or colleague; first, this should be a person with whom you feel comfortable communicating. I propose an exercise called “Shadow.” The leader makes any movements. Shadow repeats. The shadow must act in the same rhythm as the leader. Carefully monitor your breathing rate, try to convey the rhythm of movement: gestures are sharp or smooth, facial expressions are bright or weakly expressed. While performing the exercise, the Shadow must guess what the leader is feeling now, try to guess his thoughts, and grasp the shades of his mood. When you manage to completely get into your partner’s rhythm and perform movements as synchronously with him as possible, begin to gradually move more smoothly, soften your facial expressions, and smile. This is especially useful if you want to block the aggression of the interlocutor, calm him down, reduce confrontation and refocus him on the dialogue. The Shadow exercise is a really good training for understanding another. By performing the mirroring technique often, you will be surprised at how easily you will begin to understand the feelings, mood, and even intentions of another person. To win over your interlocutor, let him know that his intention is being fulfilled. If your partner’s intention is: To complete the task - briefly and essentially support your interlocutor, show that you are a business person; To do the best - pay more attention to details, discuss them together; To get along with people - express your affection, let him know that you relate well to him and value his friendship; Receive an assessment - make it clear that you appreciate his contribution to»