From the author: Who understands whom in psychotherapy? The feeling that I was not understood did not leave me throughout the entire therapy. On the one hand, the very understanding of what was happening was the object of therapy, and on the other hand, it was a kind of unattainable dream. As usual, I expressed myself in very ambiguous messages to the psychotherapist, which forced him to wade through my verbal constructs. like through the Amazon jungle. My consciousness generated concepts that were incomprehensible not only to him, but also to myself, which I transmitted to the outside world. Yes, my main psychological defense for a long time was intellectualization. I even tried to figure out the question of how thinking arises, so that I could be more sure of what I was saying and that it was me who was saying it. Heidegger didn't help me, I just got more confused. Rationalization grew stronger and became more diverse in its manifestations. Once, at our next meeting, I described my condition for a very long time and emotionally, and my psychologist reacted to this in a way that was unusual for me. It seemed to me that he fell into thoughtfulness and I read concern in his eyes. Probably, on this day I understood a lot and felt that someone cared about me. Perhaps this is the very feeling of empathy that my psychologist conveyed and launched this understanding in me. Perhaps. The result was quite unexpected for me. Having received understanding from him, I finally realized that in fact (in my personal case) it is not he who understands me, but I who understand myself. Was it an insight or was it not an insight, I don’t know. All I know is that I felt an extraordinary relief, I felt like someone who could be understood by others and accepted by others. This realization swept through me in a wave of excitement and triggered euphoria in my mind, frozen in endless analysis. At that moment I realized that understanding what I was saying was not important for him, for a psychologist, it was very important for me. It is I who must understand what I am saying. I'm saying this for myself, not for him. When I felt that I understood myself, I felt that I could be understood by other people. It was wonderful. It was the first time that I had an awareness so profound in its power and meaning. Now a lot has become clear to me precisely because I was able to look at all these things through the prism of my new discovery. And the psychologist? What about a psychologist!? He completed his mission. He helped me, he understood me. As I move deeper into the psychological forest, I begin to pay more and more attention to the trees that are around me and to the general background and to my experiences from being in this forest. All together allows me to come to that important thing, to what is called “soul”. The path to your soul is very long, despite its apparent closeness. The forest is dark and dense. And the moment I stepped out into the sunny meadow was simply fantastic. Everything suddenly changes. Faith, hope, and love appear. I'm still in this bright clearing, for now I'm looking around it. Still no idea where to go next. I'm here for now, but we'll see.