From the author: Reflections of a practicing psychologistThe inner child - who is he? How to heal him? Lately I have come across a lot of articles on the topic of the inner child. They say that thanks to him, we are active, able to create, and enjoy life (if our inner child is healthy). We are indecisive, scared, don’t know what we want... (if he is sick, injured). It is proposed to heal it with acceptance, support, love. What is this phenomenon, the inner child? In order to answer the question, let's dwell a little on the theory. The human psyche develops sequentially. Each age has its own challenges. Each previous stage is the basis for the next. As an example, I will describe some of them. Children first develop a sense of security, later - autonomy, even later - satisfaction with their identity, etc. Figuratively, this can be represented as a nesting doll. All dolls are in strict sequence, without gaps. This happens with favorable development. What can disrupt development? According to the classical theory, fixation occurs at the stage during which the child has been spoiled or subjected to deprivation (physical or psychological deprivation). In this case, the adult retains childish reactions and childish behavior. For me, at one time, it was a discovery that both deprivation and spoilage can lead to negative consequences. I will explain how fixation is formed using simple examples: 1. A mother, immersed in her emotions, does not approach her infant. Deprived of nourishment and emotional warmth, he experiences existential dread. The child develops a basic distrust of the world. Further personality formation can proceed in different ways, in particular, by renouncing one’s desires (I am not needed, I am not important); Depressive states may develop, etc.2. An over-caring, overprotective mother feeds the child when he is not yet hungry, gives toys before the child wants to take them, in other words, works proactively. Thus, the child is deprived of initiative. The child does not develop a mechanism for wanting and achieving goals; he does not solve the developmental tasks facing him.3. A loving adult can constantly prevent the consequences of the child’s actions: constantly monitor, do instead of the child, etc. This behavior also negatively affects the formation of personality structure. In the future, the development of the volitional sphere or a person’s understanding of his needs may suffer. The earlier the disorder occurred, and the more intense it is, the more the personality structure will suffer. That’s why the advice doesn’t work: “Just think, your mother ignored your needs and didn’t come over (didn’t feed you). So many years have passed, I wish I could fix it.” Fixation occurred, one of the nesting dolls did not form. And the psyche was built on what happened. Other layers are superimposed on this layer. It’s like damaging part of the wood of a growing tree and expecting the trunk to be as straight as the whole one. The younger the sick inner child, the longer it will take to heal. And this should be individual work with a specialist. Personality is formed on the basis of experience and relies on it, so self-help will be like Baron Munchausen pulling yourself out by the hair. We need someone else to help overcome developmental disabilities. We live in interesting times when unique knowledge is becoming available to us. Now there are many areas of psychology working with personality; there is body-oriented psychotherapy (works with psychological problems through bodily contact); transpersonal psychotherapy (works, among other things, with the experience of intrauterine development), regression psychotherapy (works with memories and experiences of past incarnations). Whether mom and dad’s gifts will stay with us depends on the trauma of the individual and on the person’s readiness or unwillingness to invest in his psychological health..