Rejection is a state in which a person feels unloved, unaccepted, unworthy. A person experiencing this state has a negative attitude towards himself, it is difficult for him to build close relationships, defend his point of view and boldly move towards his goals. The origins of rejection begin with a traumatic experience that violated the integrity of the individual. More often than not, the rejected child was ignored, criticized, compared with other, better children, shamed or intimidated by dominant, parental figures. In this regard, acceptance of oneself, one’s individuality becomes very shaky, requiring confirmation from other people. Self-esteem, which has not an internal locus of control, but an external one, suffers. Rejected people carry within themselves an “inner hole” that they are trying to heal and fill. But intimacy for such people just smells like the rejection they experienced earlier. And it turns out to be walking in a vicious circle or stepping on the same rake. In most cases, the rejected person finds a strong figure capable of rejection and reproduces the usual scenario. In such a combination of relationships there is a lot of despair, pain, sadness, shame, guilt and other feelings. When working with a client’s rejection request, my main task is to help him live through it. I am actively present in his difficult period of life, where I notice and support feelings. In experiencing rejection there is a moment of loss, of a certain value that impoverishes a person. To fill this emptiness, I return the focus of a person’s attention to myself personally. After all, in rejection there is not entirely the rejected person, but there is the significance of the rejecter, his praise, love, which is urgently needed. Thus, the client rejects himself in favor of another. And I need to help the client accept himself as he is. Miracles happen when you accept yourself and do not demand this from another person. This is precisely the transition from the childish, immature phase to the adult phase, where you belong to yourself. The way out of rejection is also one’s own recognition and understanding of the personal right to reject others. This is a transition from the position of a victim to the ability to choose something more meaningful and desirable. After all, the one who rejects thinks more about himself, about his own benefits, than about the suffering of another. It is important to realize that the goal was not to personally hurt or offend the person with your refusal. When we say no to others, we say yes to ourselves. And others also have the right to use it. Let me give you an example of fear of failure, which is regarded as rejection. One of my clients after college really wanted to get a job and was terribly afraid of interviews. She fantasized that employers’ refusals would discourage her from working in her chosen path. I conducted an experiment where I played the role of hr-manager, and she answered my questions. My questions were of different kinds and natures with different angles to deepen her understanding of what she wants, what she can ask for and what her value is as a professional. When a person tries to please, to be useful, choosing a streamlined shape, comfort for others, then he becomes very vulnerable. We worked on her stability, her desires, her inner support. As you understand, she found a job! When you find yourself in rejection, ask yourself what kind of approval do I need and from whom most? And perhaps not from this person, but it is he who points me to my internal state. Through these feelings I can build a movement towards myself, towards my desires. You cannot force others to love yourself, but you are able to love yourself and most likely this will attract a mutual response towards you!