People are often ready to give any money to change someone else. Changes generally seem to be a major trend in modern life. Change yourself, change others, if you can’t change others, start with yourself. Obsession with change. And all this, I think, is to become happy. Only the focus of attention is somehow skewed from the value and understanding of oneself to the value of the Other. For him, it's all about trying to become a better version of himself. Then he will definitely love you. Then he will definitely stay. Will choose. The opposite situation happens: it is the partner who must make an effort to match me... But they love not for qualities and their ideal combination, not for physical beauty and not for the shape of the nose. Legs can grow here (and often grow) from childhood, when, In order for mom to love and dad not to leave the family, it was necessary to study better, be obedient, not cry, and behave well. It seemed that if you became better, then they would love you more, then you would be needed and they would not leave you. And now history repeats itself, only now you are an adult. You try very hard to become loved and needed and demand the same from your partner - for his changes, you will also become more favorable towards him. People are willing to pay any money if only a specialist will change their partner. Often women (but also men) come to a psychologist with a request to pick up the keys to the psyche of a partner who does not want to change, solve problems or make contact. At this point, it is important to understand that the person who comes to the psychologist is motivated, and the one who does not want to change, solve problems or make contact, and will remain inaccessible to loved ones, and even to the psychologist. And rightly so. Because the problem is only for those who see it, are motivated and are ready to solve it. But those who don’t see the problem don’t have one, and there’s nothing to solve here. I think that if everything was simply arranged like this - I gave the money, the specialist changed the partner, tweaked the settings, and you began to live and live together - then it would be It would be boring to live in such a world. No spontaneity, no creativity, no conversations until the morning, no tears and reconciliation. And not to be surprised by another or yourself next to him, and not to be happy with each other - either. It’s boring and stuffy, perhaps, because intimacy appears in the possibility of a direct and open exchange of emotions. If it is impossible to express all your feelings in a relationship, there is no freedom in it, and you can talk about dependence, not intimacy. And then you really have to invent a partner for yourself instead of seeing him.