From the author: Some thoughts regarding the difficulties and trials encountered in the life path of each of us... Challenges as something that we may consider undeserved and difficult in our life paths can be overcome in different ways. For example, one might think that they are given to us for greater development. I remember the sayings: “A calm sea does not make a skilled sailor”, “A wind in the face makes a sailor a sage.” We will never learn to work, build relationships, cope with frustrations if difficulties do not await us along the way. At the extreme, we can cite the example of writers and artists who were able to experience their inner world only after terrible suffering and use it in a constructive way. As a result, we can still enjoy their works to this day. Even such unpleasant and irreversible events as the death of loved ones ultimately expand our psyche, make us wiser and make us more appreciative of what we have (in the case of normal grief). If we think about the general development of man, then all our lives, to one degree or another, trials await us. At first it’s hard for us to learn to walk, talk, study, choose a profession, study again, choose a couple. The ability to cope with difficulties and frustrations comes from childhood, when the mother does not satisfy all the child’s needs, but frustrates and limits him to the extent that he is able to bear it and cope with it. Thus, in the case of a good enough mother, growing up, he already has experience of experiencing difficulties in which he was supported and understood. However, if the mother was too anxious, overprotective of the child and did not give him the opportunity to cope with difficulties on his own, then we see the person as if he was not being developed, but, on the contrary, being driven back into his aquarium. Of course, we cannot consider trials such as the death or illness of loved ones to be a victory. But all we can do with the vicissitudes of our lives that we cannot change is to accept them and move on. Article taken from the site http://www.psynavigator.ru/articles.php?code=1968 Tonkikh Natalya, psychoanalytic psychotherapist.