Client story is published with the client's consent. So strange...I often thought that I knew how to love. To love yourself, men, a child. But now - from the height of knowledge and experience of life - I realized that it was not love. It was everything, but not love... So what is love? To love yourself. Let's start with this. First of all, for me, it is not to betray yourself. Don't live with someone you don't like. Do not communicate with those who are hypocrites and lies, and use you. Don’t force yourself to do something that is very unpleasant. It’s better to tell yourself honestly and, most importantly, ALLOW NOT TO DO! But then you risk being socially awkward, ostracized, rejected and scolded. Why? Because we are taught to be: comfortable (comfortable) ;obedient;loyal to family, relatives, clan, organization, society;manageable. And parents begin to do this from the cradle, to make it easier to manage their children. At almost 50, I finally allowed myself everything that was possible. Or almost everything. I'm free! Now I think that I love myself))) And now let’s look at love for another through the prism of self-love. So what does a person actually do if he doesn’t love himself? These relationships can be called: manipulation; agreements - a kind of: commodity- monetary or sexual services; codependency; games in different scenario stories; competition; sacrifice. I.e. They all basically have some kind of benefit, sometimes with a minus sign! Example: We recently sorted out parental settings with a client. And he pulled out such an interesting thing: LOVE AND HAPPINESS MUST BE EARNED! And now he, at 35, still deserves it, but he never earned it, because... no one said anything about the parameters and deadlines. When we began to pick out (there’s no other way to call it) the attitude that sat at the basis of this belief, we came up with: I AM UNWORTHY! And the man said that it was so. He doesn't feel worthy of many things, including love...Sad. And he, in my opinion, is more than worthy. What to do? Work: Change the basic attitude to a positive one. There are psychotechnologies that are very effective, for example “Spring cleaning”. Monitor your patterns of behavior and consciously replace them. However, this requires: energy, persistence and understanding: why and where! You can do it yourself. For example, read the books of S.V. Kovalev and work on them. Or you can with the help of a specialist: this path is faster, better and more effective. Tell me: Do you love yourself? I talk more about psychotechnologies in the article “Therapeutic module".