We do this every time we find excuses or simply “forget” a request (or our desire). We are avoiding responsibility. A heavy, unbearable burden, pressing on the shoulders and pulling down. Examples from my practice: 1. They have been dating for 6 years. They tell their friends how great it is to live a free life, without obligations and a “stuck” life. She cries into her pillow at night and smiles at her beloved on Saturday morning.2. After working in consultation with a client about the topic of childhood grievances, she concludes that her mother’s desire to suppress her initiative and creativity is to blame. And cries from powerlessness and sadness.3. He complains about difficult working conditions: dust, smell and pain in his knees. And every morning he gets up for work in order to devote the next 10 hours to the next order for apartment renovation.4. She blames her parents for not telling her at the age of 17 which profession would lead to success and high earnings. And at 37, she continues to look for excuses when she is offered advanced training or retraining courses.⠀Sometimes it’s an escape from responsibility for choices, one’s life, feelings, or simply appropriation of experience. About responsibility from the point of view of Gestalt therapy HERE When psychologists say 'avoidance of responsibility' , then they mean the transfer of control over one’s life to external circumstances or other people. Those people put themselves in the position of a victim. It’s as if he is being led by external forces.⠀There are several reasons for “evading responsibility”: 1️. There is no formed internal value system. It is she who controls and regulates human activities. In this case, the origins are often in childhood, when the foundations are laid. But this does not mean that they cannot be purchased at an older age.2️. The internal rules of the individual are too strict. Norms and values ​​are high. And the person does not feel capable of making decisions or taking responsibility for possible consequences. After all, if you fail, punishing yourself will be too severe. And hence the fear of responsibility. And it can be unbearably heavy.⠀From my own experience I will say: there are no totally irresponsible people. We can create typical situations, avoiding responsibility. Or one-time falling into these traps of consciousness. By the way, hyper-responsibility will be the opposite pole from irresponsibility. And exactly between them - the usual dosed, your own - responsibility. For yourself, life, choice.⠀And when faced with the irresponsible behavior of a loved one/colleague/friend - evaluate your level of participation and allow the other to be in it. Maybe this experience is important to him?⠀⠀And in order to understand the degree of your responsibility or irresponsibility, I offer you the “Working with Responsibility” exercise: Step 1: understand how and why I constantly react the same way to some event (those automatically). I get offended, blame myself, I’m late, I put a bunch of things on my shoulders, etc. Step 2️: understand who I’m responsible for in this situation. For yourself/a loved one/colleague? Step 3: answer the question “Why do I need this?” or “What do I get as a result?” Love, attention, recognition, feeling needed, etc. Step 4️: take responsibility. We say: “I do this, trying to take responsibility (myself/brother/friend, etc.) and become needed/loved...” Step 5️: we continue to build our life based on desires and possibilities, with our share of responsibility. Or ask me for help. Together during the consultation, we will determine the degree, depth and breadth of your responsibility and irresponsibility (or what you or your loved ones imply by this). And do you need that much? Tell me honestly: do you know how to be irresponsible??