A lot has already been said about the fact that manipulators are kind of villains who use other people for their own purposes. However, often people do this unconsciously. What if the manipulator is you? It always works out better to monitor others, everyone knows about the speck and the log in the eye. Today we will discuss what patterns in your behavior you should pay attention to and suspect yourself of manipulating others. You refuse your partner/interlocutor in order to get what you want, or to punish him. “I won’t give you money until you start behaving normally,” “I won’t be intimate with you until you learn to help me around the house.” The ability to refuse is, of course, important, but not in the context of manipulation. You deliberately distort information, do not finish speaking, mean one thing and say another. “Of course, go help your parents, I’ll stay at home,” says the wife, but she herself is offended, because she wanted to sit at home and watch a movie with her husband. The partner had to guess everything himself. And if you didn’t guess, then the wife expresses her dissatisfaction in the form of direct or passive aggression. “Of course I'm in a bad mood, because I was stuck at home all day!” You are trying to control the feelings, motives and behavior of other people. “If you were an obedient son, you would have cleaned the room long ago and not upset your mother!” As a rule, the main feelings on which manipulation is carried out in this case are debt and guilt. You do not openly discuss your relationship, are not ready for an honest dialogue, preferring hints or playing the “keep silent” game. This also includes situations when you sense a problem, but expect your partner to be the first to start talking about it, expect an apology when the person may not even understand how he offended you. When you help someone or do something nice, you expect a response. Give gifts, provide support, or take the first initiative in a relationship, and then become offended or disappointed if the person does not respond in kind. This also includes a tendency to devalue other people's help and support before your own. For example, let's say your friend was going through a difficult divorce and you helped him get his life back on track. Then you expect him to repay you with no less sacrifices, but he just remains a loyal friend and is your support every day. But how can you evaluate your titanic efforts and what he, in your opinion, should anyway! If you notice and become aware of such behavior in yourself, this is already a big step towards the success of getting rid of such manifestations. Of course, we all resort to one manipulation or another from time to time, and this does not mean a bad nature or a tendency to do this all the time. Do you recognize yourself in any of the points? Sign up for a consultation: WhatsApp, Telegram +7 913 380-83 -42Skype: as3808342Learn to manage your emotions!💪