Very many people suffer from a background feeling of guilt, which does not always make its way to the surface of consciousness in the form of a fully conscious experience, but at the same time seems to keep a person in a state where he feels like he is not a very good person, as if he did something that no one knows about, but for which everyone can blame him. In some cases, people project this feeling of guilt onto their loved ones, or onto those with whom they enter into work or business relationships. Thus, while working in a company, a person may feel guilty that he is actually doing a bad job or is not professional enough, even if his colleagues are quite satisfied with his work. Some are ashamed to appear in front of their boss, because they are “ashamed to look him in the eye.” Deep, background feeling of guilt. A person can become infected with this feeling in early childhood, and most often it is attributed to him by his parents, or by those people in whose power he was at an early age (grandmothers, older brothers and sisters, nannies). The sources and reasons for the emergence of this feeling are very difficult to remember and identify, since it is not always instilled in words, at least not only in words. The general attitude towards the child in the family may be such that they seem to show him that he is not welcome here, that he is an unwanted child, that he ruins mom or dad’s life, creates endless problems. Very often, people who grew up in such a family are convinced from an early age that they were not welcome in this world. And when, at a relatively adult age, they find out that they were given birth because it was too late to have an abortion, or because their grandparents insisted on it, then they are not very surprised by this news. It seems to them that what they always suspected was simply confirmed. It can be very difficult to bring this background feeling to the level of awareness for processing through memories and associations, since it could be imputed without the help of words. And besides, there may have been no specific event that could have given rise to this feeling. It is sometimes possible to grasp and work through it using the “visualization” technique, since imaginative thinking, unlike conceptual-logical thinking, is formed in us in very early childhood, and some scenes and images that are significant for a person are fixed in it. Acute sense of guilt An acute sense of guilt is formed precisely in situations where it is cultivated through verbal statements and “spells”. For example, when parents constantly accuse a child of something, they throw “everyday curses” at him. Very strongly, feelings of guilt and shame are imprinted on the child’s psyche and in those situations when parents use them as tools for raising the child and motivating him to a certain behavior. An acute feeling of guilt can strike a person every time in certain types of situations. For example, a person breaks a cup that costs a penny, but feels such guilt as if he had committed some terrible crime. One young man experienced an acute feeling of guilt every time he did not immediately hear the phrase addressed to him. His parents constantly scolded him for ignoring the words addressed to him, and he sometimes “did not hear” these words, precisely because he was afraid of hearing another accusation addressed to him. Thus, the background feeling of guilt is something like stable trance, a habitual state of soul and consciousness for a person. It seems to eat into a person’s psyche, and he can feel guilty regardless of what is currently happening in his life. And an acute feeling of guilt is a feeling that can flare up sharply in a person’s soul. It is usually caused by some kind of triggers. During psychotherapy, it is usually possible to identify typical situations that cause this feeling, and in some cases specific events that contributed to the emergence and consolidation of this feeling. Spontaneous attempts to get rid of feelings of guiltChildren make their first attempts to get rid of the feelings of guilt imputed to themeven during the first situations when they find themselves outside the walls of their home and not surrounded by their loved ones. Thus, once in kindergarten, a child can start role-playing games, during which he begins to accuse unsuspecting classmates of the “sins” that he is accused of at home. Children sometimes do the same thing at school. And it is precisely those who were instilled with a sense of guilt in his family of origin who often find themselves in the ranks of supporters of those who bully innocent outcasts. And they, under other circumstances, often find themselves victims of bullying. Many children's friendships collapse due to the fact that one of the friends suddenly begins to actively blame the other for something. And if the child to whom they try to impose a feeling of guilt in their friendship has not encountered anything like this in his family, then he begins to strongly resist and ultimately breaks off contact with his accuser. But the most severe and at the same time painful attempts to get rid of the feeling of guilt through role-playing games are made “victims of guilt” in their first relationship, when, having run away from their home, they begin to live under the same roof with another person. There can be two options: if the partner himself has the skills of “guilt - accusation,” then in such a couple a kind of competition arises - “who is more to blame,” but if the partner is not accustomed to such games, then he is forced to constantly fight off accusations “ victims of guilt,” or explain to him that he is not offended by him for anything, and does not blame him for anything. Many relationships are guaranteed precisely because people cannot cope with the feeling of guilt imposed on them in childhood , and spontaneously and unconsciously begin to project it onto their partner. The situation can also be aggravated by the fact that one of the tools for pinning a feeling of guilt on a partner is a system of accusations that has been worked out to the point of automatism, in which “righteous anger” is often present. Psychologists often come across stories about “abuser husbands”, which for no reason Why do they suddenly start blaming their wives for all mortal sins, and calm down only when they are brought to tears? After which they may suddenly fall into repentance and begin almost on their knees and begging for forgiveness. In some situations, wives suddenly turn into fierce vixens, constantly looking for reasons to attack their husbands with righteous anger. And they calm down only after they manage to find an objective reason for blaming their husband, and he admits to it and asks for forgiveness. Fear is guilt. Aggression is righteous anger. Feelings such as guilt or shame are, as it were, synthetic. That is, they are artificially created and cultivated. And their energetic component is more “natural” and natural emotions, such as aggression and fear. Human feelings are always very complex experiences. They represent a complex mechanism of some social or cultural plots, figurative, logical and semantic structures. And this whole “mechanism” is, as it were, saturated with basic emotions and drives, and it is set in motion by them. The feeling of guilt is also attached to various family plots and games imposed on the child. This feeling is based on various slogans and appeals, on principles and aphorisms, on dramatically played out scenes. And this feeling is usually saturated with the emotion of fear. Fear of doing something that will result in aggression and accusations. For example, a mother comes home from work and begins to lament: “Nobody appreciates her mother in this house, and everyone spits on her.” There are always reasons for launching such accusations. If they turn out to be very obvious, for example, scattered toys, then a violent scene occurs with a demonstration of anger. But if no obvious reasons are found, then the mother, as they say, “gets personal,” and begins to blame the child simply for “being like that...”. As a result, the child begins to feel fear even before the mother comes home from work, and when she finds something to blame him for, he even experiences some relief: after all, after the outburst of accusations and.