Abusive relationships: how to understand that you are in one? The word “abuse” does not have a complete equivalent in Russian, so I will only use it. And this is not a newfangled word, not a tribute to modernity; behind this concept there is a lot of fear, pain, powerlessness and stories of clients who have encountered this. Abuse - comes from the English “abuse” (to insult, mistreat). Abusive relationships have a clear pattern of interaction: aggressor and victim. The victim is dependent on the aggressor, who in the process of abuse aggravates this dependence. The basis of abuse is control, manipulation and threats, which lead to the suppression of the will of the victim. Awareness of abuse has become much wider, but interaction with it has not gone away. There are still a lot of victims of violence. Talking about abuse is not shameful or shameful, it is a reality that needs to be illuminated and not hushed up. So that as many people as possible learn that domestic violence is not “this is their family business” or “hitting means loving”, but in these situations help and support are needed. How to understand that you are in an abusive relationship? Systematic belittlement of you and your lifestyle, total depreciation; Manipulation urging you to do something that you resist: lose weight, quit work, limit contacts; Endless criticism that you are unable to resist; Excessive suspicion and control, including over movements and contacts; Limiting the circle of contacts, bans on meetings; Instilling an endless feeling of guilt (one of the most important red flags!). Any attempt to challenge is met with firm and confident arguments why “it is necessary to deal with you this way and not otherwise”; The conviction that the source of troubles is in you. If you change yourself, your character, don’t react and remain silent, then everything will be fine. Physical violence can begin with screams, threats, swings, loud breaks in relationships - the abuser tests the waters and tries to understand how far he can go. The first step in leaving an abusive relationship is recognizing the abuse. To do this, you need to learn to trust your own feelings, intuition, in order to hear and feel warnings of danger, and stop ignoring red flags. This will help you see what is happening more clearly, not succumb to manipulation and look for ways out of this relationship..